The girl said we were different and silently left. If he left silently. How to help yourself end a relationship. Why do women do this

SilkyS said:

Guys, tell me why men are such cowards that they leave silently?

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Why do you have to wear underpants? Here is an example from my life. I met a girl, at first everything was fine, then I realized that it wasn’t for me. Not the girl I would like to continue living with, and not just dating. I decided to leave. Told her. But she didn’t come to the same conclusion, but on the contrary, she really wanted to continue the relationship. That is, she loved me very much. Well, I told her that I decided to leave. And what did I see?

And I saw enormous pain in her eyes, the pain that I caused to this beautiful creature, this sweet and good girl. And he did it for no reason, not for any misdeed, but simply because “You can’t order your heart.” You see, my heart is not made of stone and I treated the girl with great tenderness and in no case wanted to cause her pain, but there was no other way out. And how could I look into her eyes, how could I explain something to her when no explanations would help or change anything, when a person was hurt by the very fact of parting?

And after that I for a long time it was very bad, I felt like the last scumbag, just like a bastard. Because he hurt a sweet and gentle creature for absolutely no reason. But she tried, changed, adapted to me, to my character. That is, I didn’t just meet, but made efforts to ensure that our relationship became better.

It's easy to leave when there is resentment or a quarrel. For example, when the betrayal occurred or something similar. How can you leave when the law “You can’t order your heart” simply applies? Indeed, in this case, this separation is very painful for both, although of course everyone says that he cheated, played around and asked, or something else like that.

Someone needs scandals, trials, and other idle nonsense. But I don't need this. And sometimes it is so difficult to see the pain in a girl’s eyes that the heart in her chest begins to ache, and it hurts for a long time and painfully.

And you ask to be told why the person is leaving. Yes, because it didn’t work out. But this is not enough for the girls, tell us what exactly didn’t suit you, they probably think that they can fix it and everything will get better. Not really. If a guy doesn’t run around, like he leaves and then comes, then nothing can be fixed. So I made a decision and that’s it, it’s already irrevocable. And I will not humiliate and insult a girl by listing her shortcomings, even if she asks. Because I already cause her pain, and to further humiliate her is cynical and stupid.

But of course you need to leave silently so that the girl knows that you have left. That is, not to leave her in the dark, but to say that it’s all over. But I think it’s wrong to organize a debriefing.

You meet a man and feel that “that same spark” jumps between you. A few days of exchanging text messages, and now you are already going on a date. Chemistry is a strong thing. With new contact between the two elements that you and your boyfriend are, the attraction can be very strong.

But after several meetings, something goes wrong. And this is something that puzzles you. The man begins to ignore messages, come up with reasons to delay the next date, becomes too busy, promises to call back, but never does, and then disappears altogether.

What happens afterthe man leaveswithout a reason

When a man leaves out of your life in this way, you are left alone with yourself - stunned, morally crushed, having no idea why he is doing this. After all, everything was just great! And suddenly it was over.

You don't understand who is to blame for this. Perhaps he had intentions that you were not suited to fulfill. Or maybe it’s because of his “cockroaches in his head.”

I will say this, if this is an isolated case, then maybe it’s just those “cockroaches”. But if such situations happen more than once, you need to start looking within yourself for the reason,why do men lose interest to you.

Why does a man lose interest in a woman?or What went wrong?

This is why this situation is incomprehensible to most women. When a girl loses interest in a guy after a few dates, she can almost always determine the reason why this is happening. Perhaps he is not very intelligent, withdrawn, uncommunicative, or, on the contrary, too noisy and active. That is, she can specifically say what exactly she doesn’t like about him.

For men, everything is different. He can enjoy wonderful dates with you. He may enjoy sex with you. But at some point, having discovered that your society he is more uncomfortable the man leaves . And you are from such a situation.

And is there really no explanation for this?No. There is always a reason. Let's look at one of them. After several successful dates, many women, making sure that they like the man, begin to fantasize about a future together.

So what happens next? You come up with different options. life together, imagine how he will behave. You think that he is already yours forever. In general, you become attached to your fantasies and gradually begin to impose them on him.

At the same time, you do not notice the problem. Instead of getting to know the real him, you begin to build a relationship with his fictional copy, which often has nothing in common with real person in front of you.

Most men intuitively feel when a girl is too attached great importance an ordinary meeting or acquaintance. If expectations are placed on a man that he did not sign up for, this, of course, causes a reaction of rejection.

You think that he already owes you something. But he really just wanted to have a good time, in the end he was looking for an unobtrusive relationship plus sex. He is clearly not ready for such a turn of events, when he almost needs to take you to church, and will naturally back down.

In this situation it cannot be said that the man is just loses interest in a woman, because he has serious reasons for this.

Why do women do this?

All women want to feel good, but often their actions lead to the opposite. This is because everyone needs confidence and experiences fear of the unknown.

This fear is destructive. Moreover, the woman may not even realize that he exists. Few people manage to realize the presence of such a problem in time.

Meanwhile, the ever-growing anxiety is overshadowed by the desire to become happy, to quickly find a man who will not only give you love, but will also become a universal tool for solving all your problems. At the same time, you forget that you also need to work on yourself, and not rely on your chosen one.

When you date a guy who makes you feel good, this need becomes overwhelming. You may not even realize you're doing it. But a man senses changes in you.

And in the end, instead of feeling a sense of unity with you, he begins to understand that you want something from him. He doesn't know exactly what. But instinct does its job and gives a hint to a man - to leave right now, before it’s too late and he’s not bogged down head over heels in responsibilities that he doesn’t need..

Here's more specific example from life: Once upon a time, one woman attended a women’s training and was informed that she needed to make an album of her desires and hang it in a visible place for her husband to see. And then they will definitely be fulfilled. When my husband came home and saw the album, he packed his things and left. To the question “WHY?”, she received the answer - “Sorry, dear, but I’m not the man who can give you everything you want.” The man was simply frightened by the number of desires that she had imagined for herself.

Now imagine - it was the husband! What can we say about a man with whom you have only had a couple of dates? It is quite natural that, frightened by all those desires that you so long for to be fulfilled, a man leaves your life. I'm not saying that a man cannot realize them. I'm saying that you don't need to shift your problems, questions and expectations onto him. If he wants, he will decide for himself. But putting a man in the state of “you owe me” is the first step towards breaking up in a relationship.

This usually happens at a time when a woman is trying to think about what needs to be done to make your future relationship work out in the best possible way. But there are no relationships yet.

Here we can draw an analogy. Imagine that someone comes up to you and tries to sell you something unnecessary and useless. Even if the person who approached smiles and seems friendly, subconsciously you still want to leave, because you know that they approached you for a reason. They want to get money from you, not help.

The same thing is felt by a man who is just trying to get to know the woman opposite him, but already feels that they want something from him.

You can't force love

When you enter into a new relationship and start to think that this is something more than just communication, consider it game over. And by the time you think about what happened and why the man is losing interest in you, it will be too late.

This does not mean that in this situation the man is right and the woman is wrong.

The best relationships are those that are formed naturally. Relationships can give you what you dream of. But there is no need to make them an end in themselves.

This is the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy or dysfunctional one. A healthy relationship is when two people are happy, when everything is mutual, comfortable, when you give something, but also receive quite a lot in return.

An unhealthy relationship is when one of the partners, or even both, believes that the other should give them something or has something that could be received from him, some kind of benefit.

So how to solve this problem? If you stop focusing on results and just enjoy life, then a man will also feel good around you.

When he understands that you feel good, that everything is fine with you, he will want to be close to you. But when you begin to demand from him something to which in fact you do not yet have the right, this leads to the man leaving. And yes, it really is that simple.

Of course, this is not the only reason why a man leaves and loses interest in a woman, but it is certainly one of the most common. There may also be banal incompatibility, but this is a completely different conversation that we can have if you decide to follow the Path of a Woman.

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Sometimes women leave silently, without tears or hysterics. They don’t sort things out, don’t ask for proof of love, don’t demand changes, don’t expect excuses.

They just leave. Silently and forever. Just yesterday she was laughing, planning a vacation and kissing your forehead. Just yesterday I was busy in the kitchen, wanting to feed you after a hard day of work. Just yesterday she demanded attention and warmed her cold feet against you. When she left, she did not give you an answer to your silent question. You will suffer for months, trying to understand: “Why did she leave? Why now? Why didn’t I give you the opportunity to explain?”

The reasons may be different, but they are always painfully simple and banal.
1. She left because she realized that you no longer value time spent with her.
2. She left because she no longer wants to fight for your relationship alone.
3. She left because next to you she no longer feels like behind a stone wall.
4. She left because your personal boundaries left no room for her.
5. She left because she feels like you take her for granted.
6. She left because she was tired of crying.
7. She left because you no longer support her endeavors and aspirations.
8. She left because she no longer believes in you.
10. She left because she no longer wants to sort things out and argue.
11. She left because she notices that your eyes speak more than you do.
12. She left because your relationship is a sled that she sat you on and drags you along the asphalt.
13. She left because your relationship is no longer growing.
14. She left because she wants a relationship that you are not ready for, and she has finally decided to let you go.
15. She left because she realized she deserved to be priority number one.
16. She left because you did everything to help her make this decision.
17. She left because she realized that when she was with you, she no longer valued herself.
18. She left because she no longer believes in your love.
19. She left because she knows more than you think.
20. She left because she deserves true love.

The reasons may be different, but if a woman leaves silently, it means she is leaving forever. Any attempt she makes to talk to you, dramatic gathering of things, tears and reproaches - this is all a prayer for you to stop her, not let her leave, return her, this is a chance to fix everything. If she leaves silently, then there is no more chance.