A busy life on maternity leave is real! Mom on maternity leave: how not to lose yourself and be happy Self-development and maintaining qualifications

This is the second year I’ve been on maternity leave with my daughter,” thirty-year-old Ksenia tells her friends. - I don’t bring money into the house. That's why I try to save money. My husband's salary is not glamorous. It’s enough for what’s necessary, but not more than that!.. At the same time, I’m terribly jealous of my husband. With my last salary I bought myself a new suit and shoes, although we only got him good expensive shoes in the fall... I’ve been wearing my shoes for three years now, but he doesn’t have time to change them!.. He has the latest model laptop, all his gadgets, he bought headphones again recently ...

Well, this isn’t the last of the money, is it?

Of course not. We don’t go hungry, but it’s still a shame. I’m trying to find something, I go to a distant store for milk and vegetables, where everything is a few rubles cheaper. I count pennies, look for discounts, carry bags, stand at the stove for hours. And I wear old boots that don’t mind the mud and slush. Whereas he now has two pairs of new ones. Yes, not simple ones, but expensive ones...

Well, on the one hand, he makes money himself! And his work is not all sugar. Heavy and nervous. Does he need to please himself somehow? If he wanted, he bought, he has the right. The family is not starving - everything is fine...

It's a shame that he doesn't even give advice! - Ksenia sighs. - I went and bought it, but what do you mean? There are a lot of arguments - they say it’s based on my clothes, I need to look normal, no worse than everyone else...

Did you tell him that you also need new shoes, a phone, lipstick?

She did, of course. He has an answer to everything - well, you’re on maternity leave now! At home, it seems like there is no one to show off to. You just need shoes that are intact, good quality, and comfortable for walking. No time for frills. The phone is still normal, works great, some cosmetics remain from past life, bags too... That’s all I wear. My husband says, if you get ready for work, then we’ll buy everything you need. We'll update your wardrobe. For now there is no need. Still, no one sees me except the mommies on the playground...

Yeah... What a look your husband has!

Not only him. And my mother-in-law is on his side, and, the most offensive thing, my mother too! They say your husband is in public, he needs everything new, but you’re sitting at home! Why do you need new clothes? And there seems to be some logic in this. But why does he have everything and nothing to me? He dresses beautifully, meets people, sometimes has lunch in a cafe, uses new things... And not only am I in four walls with a child, I’m also dressed in old clothes... They haven’t bought me anything new for probably six months. Sad!

Do you think you really don’t need much on maternity leave, and you can get by with old things? Well, it’s stupid to get a manicure in a salon, for example, buy a bunch of new things and cosmetics, change gadgets to more modern models - in order to sit with all this splendor at home? Although, of course, if you don’t have a lot of money, then why not live in grand style. But how many families do we have with a wife on maternity leave who don’t count pennies?

Hello everyone, friends! And a special greeting to future and existing mothers! Today's article is for you! By the way, dads can also read, they can also find interesting and useful information for themselves.

And so, Sasha Bogdanova is with you and I want to talk about a question that worries many - how to make money while on maternity leave and not leave the baby unattended?

In general, there are many ways to earn money, but are they all suitable for a caring mother? After all, you don’t want to spend all your time trying to improve your financial situation and leave your little one to grow up on his own?

First, I’ll tell you about ways to earn money that are quite suitable for anyone who wants to work on the Internet, but I wouldn’t recommend choosing them for a young mother.

And I will give a good bonus to anyone who decides to follow in my footsteps!

Here we go...

1. Copywriting
2. Partnership programs
3. Freelancing
4. Needlework
5. Network marketing

Here are 5 ways that most mothers choose for additional income, because you can do all this while sitting at home and make good money, but...

Let's take it in order: pros and cons

• Copywriting

This is the type of income that almost everyone can master and this is its plus, but there is also a huge minus - you will have to spend a lot of your time to get a not-so-great reward!

In addition, the customer will set time limits for you, which will not allow you to combine part-time work with raising a child. You need it? Hardly...

• Partnership programs

This method, in principle, can also suit anyone, and this is again a plus and you can make good money from it, but... You will need to invest a lot of effort, time and patience in studying and testing.

In addition, this method will generate profit only as long as you work and invest money in promoting the affiliate program. Stopped working - stopped earning!

• Freelancing

This is perhaps one of the most complex types earnings, but it probably still has advantages. For example, you can do what you know (layout, website promotion, etc.) and the earnings here are not bad, but...

Even if you have some knowledge to work as a freelancer, you will again have constant deadlines (time frames). From here sleepless nights, poor health and mood.

And you can only replenish your wallet by having orders, but now, I’ll tell you, there is a time when the exchanges are overflowing with those who want to grab the customer by the leg and work for him! Do you want to run? Good luck! You do not want? Then let's move on.

• Needlework

Many mothers continue to sit at home with their children, knitting booties and hats or making soap, thereby slightly improving their financial situation. What are the advantages of this type of activity?

An extra penny in your pocket is understandable. Do you like fiddling with balls of thread or bubbles of soapy water? It's great!

But I would advise you to do this solely for your own pleasure.

• Network marketing

I don’t even want to talk about it, how (sorry) I’m sick of these intrusive offers from poor girls who send letters 24 hours a day offering to sell something with them!

No comments... because everything is clear!

And so... So we looked at 5 types of activities that I would not recommend you do if you want to achieve really good results and spend maternity leave with your baby, and not a monitor.

I will soon write a separate article about these methods, tell you which exchanges are best to contact, etc. If you are still interested in the methods described above, then subscribe and I will send you the article!

And now for the fun part!

The best way to earn money for a mom on maternity leave

All of the above methods can be used by everyone - moms and dads and even grandparents, but you already know about their pros and most importantly cons.

Just imagine. When your maternity leave ends, you go back to work, and it’s good if your baby’s first steps remain in your memory, and not a nervous customer demanding urgent, perfectly done work from you!

To prevent this from happening, I suggest for you The best way how to make money while sitting at home with a child and this...

Personal blog - website

Why is this method the best? Before I tell you this, let me talk about its disadvantages.

The downside is that, unlike freelancing, copywriting and other things, where you receive payment immediately after completing the order, in blogging you will have to be patient, but it’s worth it, believe me.

Benefits of a personal blog

A personal blog is essentially your personal diary, in which you talk about yourself, write on a topic that interests you, meet and communicate with new people, and + on top of everything, you also earn money.

The benefits of blogging are that you do it when it suits you. No one will rush or demand. You choose what to write about. But this does not mean that making money on a blog is a complete freebie!

Of course, you will also have to work hard, but at the end of your maternity leave, you most likely will not return to your old job! Why?

Yes because having passive income from your own website from 30 to 50, 150 thousand rubles and above, you are unlikely to want to go again to where you lived from salary to salary. Even if she was not small.

I invite you to the school of bloggers with a discount from me

I myself wandered around the Internet for more than a month, not even one year! And it’s a shame that back then there was no school where I now study. I made so many mistakes, so much effort, time and money was wasted!

Learn from the mistakes of others and don’t lose the opportunity to become a successful Internet entrepreneur!

What is a blogger school and why do you need it?

At school you will receive top-level training and this is not an exaggeration! Despite not at all high cost training, the guys (teachers) provide such a quality of knowledge in a year that you cannot collect in 5 years!

I personally more than a year I was engaged in blogging, I dug up so much information, so much was done and only now, while studying at the school of bloggers, I understand that I was going in the wrong direction. Or rather, “to nowhere”!

Now I have a clear understanding in my head of where I am going and, most importantly, how to get there! I have step by step plan and indispensable help and support from teachers! For which we thank them very much!

At school you will get this... and learn how:

1. Choose a niche and create a blog structure
2. Set up your blog technically correctly
3. Create a semantic core (key queries)
4. Write articles correctly
5. Better monetize your niche
6. Many, many more useful features
7. Get all courses and scripts by Sasha Borisov for FREE
8. Live communication and good mood!

To the education of every student individual approach. If something is not clear, they will always help you figure it out and point you in the right direction. And most importantly, you won’t leave them without results!

Be it by the hand, or by the leg, or by the ear, but they will drag you to the RESULT!

But at the same time, you can learn at your own pace, as convenient for you. Live webinars are constantly held, where we discuss various topics and even receive gifts!

In general, I personally am very pleased with the training and I want to invite you to our “class” and become classmates)

« How a website can bring in 300,000 rubles a month" or “How to make a blog a passive source of income in a year” and so on...

Believe me, your brain will start thinking differently! Be sure to come!

(!) There are only 200 seats in the webinar room, so hurry up and sign up!

To access the webinar, you must register

I'll give you back 1000 rubles!

If you decide that this school is for you, then when filling out questionnaires don't forget to indicate who you came from. It is important! Because if you indicate my login, then I will return you 1000 rubles from my commission!

My affiliate login is "Otalex"...

That’s all for today, dear mommies (and daddies). I wish you the best achievements and joyful smiles for your kids :)

See you at the webinar and of course on the pages of my blog!

Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova

Maternity leave is full of pitfalls. You are no longer your own. A little bundle of happiness requires attention, care, and warmth. I want to give him all my time, all my tenderness and all my love. And you give. Dissolve in the flow of feedings, diapers, washing, cleaning, walks. A mother on maternity leave does not notice how she stops paying attention to her appearance, development, and relationship with her husband. And then a strange sad woman looks out of the mirror. If you managed to avoid such a spectacle, then please accept my sincere congratulations. If not, let’s figure out together how to make the reflection still beautiful and the mind clear.

APPEARANCE

Makeup and hairstyle

Why do mothers on maternity leave stop taking care of their appearance?

• No time.

It is difficult for a woman on maternity leave to find time for herself, but it is possible. Do you have half an hour on social networks, the next episode of your favorite series or TV show? If yes, then don’t say that there are no 15 minutes for makeup and hair.

• You don't have to go out in public every day.

What about your husband and child? Don't they deserve an attractive mother? Don’t be lazy, because a well-groomed appearance adds self-confidence and improves your mood.

How to find time for cosmetic procedures?

Divide your beauty routines into daily ones and those that you perform 1-3 times a week. Store cosmetics for daily use in one place. This will save time on self-care. Distribute procedures that are performed less frequently by day of the week. This way you can do it in a few minutes a day, but you will look well-groomed all the time. Mothers on maternity leave forget everything. Having thought over a plan for caring for your face and body, write it down on a piece of paper. For example:

• Monday: hair care (mask);
• Tuesday: facial treatment (scrub, mask);
• Wednesday: body care (scrub, moisturizing milk);
• Thursday: hair care (mask);
• Friday: hand care (bath, manicure);
• Saturday: foot care (heels, pedicure);
• Sunday: facial treatment (mask).

To control yourself, check the boxes next to the completed procedures throughout the week.

Cloth

Let's think about clothes. If you are not going to participate in the “Miss Old Robe” or “Best Housepants” competition, then put them aside. Or throw it away altogether. Nobody is asking you to dress like you go to work. But answer the question: is my husband pleased to see me in a stretched out old T-shirt? Look for a compromise: let the clothes be inexpensive, comfortable, but decent. By the way, your mood depends on this.

Figure

Finding time for sports is not easy for a mother on maternity leave. An assistant is needed for the child's husband or grandmother. If there is no one to sit with your child while you are jogging or at the gym, then try to introduce 15 minutes of morning exercises into your daily routine.

MOTHER ON MATERNITY AND HOME

Taking care of children, kitchen, laundry and cleaning - mom will always find something to do on maternity leave. How can you make it here? It’s possible, you just need to stop being a perfectionist.

• Cleaning like Flylady's.

If the house where the child lives is always tidy, something is wrong. For women on maternity leave, Marla Silley’s “FlyLady” system will be useful. So, by spending a few minutes a day cleaning one room, you can keep your house clean all the time.

• Delegation.

• Menu for the week.

On Sunday, make a menu for the next seven days. We know what it is headache every day think “What to cook?”. And with a plan, you will save time for more pleasant things and thoughts.

SELF-DEVELOPMENT AND MAINTENANCE OF QUALIFICATIONS

Mothers on maternity leave often notice that they feel “dull.” Why does this happen? On maternity leave, the mother's thoughts are completely absorbed by the little creature. Hormones, nothing can be done. There is no time to read books, materials on the profession or take courses. And I don’t want to. And it is necessary.

In 2-3 years, a woman sitting at home with her baby can “dull” her qualifications. Do not forget about changes in legislation and market conditions. Almost a third of Ukrainian women, after the end of their maternity leave, are forced to look for new job. If you do not want to be among them, follow the news of the profession, subscribe to the relevant newsletters on the Internet, read the literature. Spend at least 10-15 minutes a day maintaining your qualifications, and getting out of maternity leave will be much easier.

On the other hand, if you didn’t really like your previous job, then maternity leave is just what the doctor ordered. The first months with a baby are difficult to learn new things. But, you have almost three years! We remember our childhood dreams and try ourselves in new roles. When, if not now!

In recent years, the global trend towards online learning has been gaining momentum in Ukraine. There are many platforms that offer courses on various topics for free - www.futurelearn.com, www.coursera.org, prometheus.org.ua and others. A mother on maternity leave can listen to lectures on her specialty, study languages, or master a new profession without leaving home. Everything is on the Internet.

When? Again, it’s not easy for mothers on maternity leave to find time for themselves. But how do you like the idea of ​​recording a course of lectures or interesting book on your smartphone and listen while you walk with a child sleeping in a stroller? But this is only one of the options.

COMMUNICATION

Friends get to know each other... while on maternity leave. Yes, with a baby you automatically become an “inconvenient” friend. Shopping is no longer the same, it’s difficult to find time for coffee, and it’s almost impossible to go to the movies. It’s good when you have the opportunity to leave the baby with your grandmother or nanny and unwind, but what if there isn’t one? Agree with your husband that once a week you can leave the house and spend time with your friends. Without communication with friends, the mother’s psychological state worsens, this is no secret.

By the way, about communication. What about your husband? A child needs parents who love not only him, but also each other. Talk to your husband about what worries you and spend time together. Maternity leave - hard times in the relationship between husband and wife. There are many reasons, but this is a topic for a separate article. remember, that to a loved one It's not easy either.

And the last piece of advice from Cool Mom is to find something that makes you happy. There is no single recipe. Follow your desires, look for harmony and remember that happy children come only from happy parents.

Sasha Savina

The life of young parents with the birth of a child changes dramatically: They have to manage their time in accordance with the interests and needs of the newborn. We asked several young mothers living in Russia, Europe and the USA about how the rhythm of their lives has changed with the birth of a child, whether they manage to find time for themselves and their hobbies during maternity leave, how they manage free time and is it adapted environment to suit their needs.

ANASTASIA LANDER

My daughter's name is Maria, she is almost 10 months old. My maternity leave will soon be a year old, and this time is coming to an end - in May I am returning to work. I am responsible for PR at Unilever.

All children are different, and I got a little girl with character, who knows exactly what she wants, and she always wants to be with me, which is logical for a child. Therefore, from the moment of Masha’s birth, my whole life is subordinated to its rhythms. Masha usually accompanies all my classes - she spins under my feet on the yoga mat, cheerfully tugs at my laces, demands to try my porridge, laughs at the sound of the shower turning on. When she falls asleep at night, I have two and a half to three hours of my personal time: make dinner, watch a movie, do something else, relax to my heart’s content, finally.

I am very happy that throughout my pregnancy I went non-stop to concerts, the opera, and exhibitions - now these memories really keep me afloat. However, I was at the notorious Serov exhibition, and I haven’t lost hope of getting to Cranach. I leave Masha with my mother on weekdays, and on weekends my husband gives me leave. During these hours, I start moving around the city like a chicken with its head cut off - trying to do a billion things at once.

I certainly encountered a feeling of isolation, especially given the fact that I spent the first four months of Masha’s infancy with her outside the city, holding my daughter in my arms during all daytime naps - and babies have about six of them. All this time I watched movies, read books, news, Facebook. Plus I entered distance course litschool.pro - Creative Writing School - and I will soon submit my thesis there.

The birth of a child absolutely destroyed any concept of personal space in my previously very selfishly structured life. It is also very difficult because it forces you to look at your life critically. A lot of needs disappear, people leave your social circle, you yourself change, even if you don’t want to at all. This is a painful process, but at some point you realize that your dying is over for a while, and now you are hatching from the egg, like a phoenix. I look better than I ever have in my life. I'm learning something again after a long break. Mostly, I sometimes feel absolutely omnipotent and invincible - no amount of self-development (I really hate this word!) would give me such a feeling. For all this I thank my daughter every day.

Sveta Erokhnovich

Our daughter's name is Radoslava, she will soon be 1.5 years old. Before going on maternity leave, I headed the PR department at the interactive agency AGIMA. It seems to me that until my daughter was 7 months old, I didn’t even look in the mirror. For the first six months of a child’s life, you are a single organism, functioning according to its rules. We decided that it would be better to spend this period by the ocean, and went to Sri Lanka for almost six months. The Rada arrived in Russia strong, healthy, tanned and completely unaccustomed to a stroller: in Sri Lanka we had no need for it, but in Russia it is a basic necessity. In general, we brought a kind of jungle child to Moscow, and it took another two months to slowly get used to the stroller, car seat and be able to go somewhere together. After a year, everything becomes much easier, and even though we don’t have grandmothers or nannies nearby, now my husband will always help out when I need to go shopping, get a haircut, or meet with friends.

I started thinking about work closer to my daughter’s birthday, when Rada learned to walk. Now I am in the status of a PR consultant; work does not allow me to relax and plunge into “Groundhog Day”. I manage to work on average three, sometimes four hours a day. Of course, there are situations when a conference call is scheduled and it is on this day that the daughter, by the law of meanness, refuses to sleep. Once it was very funny when at a meeting the question was asked: “And who will be responsible for this task?” Rada runs up and shouts loudly: “Mom!” Thank you colleagues for your understanding.

I won’t say that I experience an acute shortage of children’s activities - we have them planned for the week in advance. For example, on weekends we have a tradition - a walk in Troparevo-Nikulino Park. We also go to the pool with the whole family since my daughter was three months old.

Everyone determines the boundaries of what is permitted for themselves. Some people consider it normal to hire a nanny, while others categorically do not accept this. I think there are those whose lives have not changed at all. My life has not just changed - it has been filled. And the child played a major role in this.

MARIA ZANOSINA

Before the birth of my child, I was a project manager at the event agency Journey Agency. Then my husband and I decided to fly to California so that I could give birth there, and unplannedly we stayed here. Therefore, my maternity leave was delayed a little. In Moscow, I think I would quickly return to work, but here I started working when my son was about a year old, but it was more likely due to documents. Although the first attempts to go to work were around when he was 10 months old, and then I could not mentally decide to leave him. Styopa is now one year and three months old.

Los Angeles is a 100% kids-friendly city: you can go anywhere with your child, everyone will smile at him and communicate with him, and if he throws a tantrum, they will calm him down and be touched, and no one will ever shush him. You can breastfeed anywhere and no one will notice. We go to museums and galleries together. By the way, Styopa loves parties and feels quite comfortable among people.

I work about 5 days a week for 6–7 hours. After work I spend all my time with Styopa, weekends too, of course. I can’t say that I have time left for myself, especially for hobbies and self-development: I would really like to read, watch and study more, but for now I have to prefer sleep to this. Before I started working, I spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my son. In general, everything was great: California, good weather, but when work and independent time appeared, I realized how much I missed it and how glad I was to return to normal life.

I didn’t have to give up any hobbies, and, unfortunately, no new ones appeared. Some people are lucky, and their children sleep for two to three hours during the day, during which some mothers manage to read or take online courses, while others are not so lucky, and the child sleeps for half an hour, just lying on you. All children are different.

Of course, there is isolation, especially if you are used to leading an active and social lifestyle. A child changes everything, especially in the first year. Then it’s easier: kindergarten, nannies, schools - gradually, to one degree or another, you return to normal life. It’s probably important to let your friends know that you’re still just as great, but you just have less time now, and sometimes ask for help. It is important to have personal time: let you spend it sitting on a bench (but you will be alone, with your thoughts) or go to the cinema, it doesn’t matter. I remember this strange feeling when you take out the trash and are suddenly left alone for five minutes. It may be hard to imagine, but being with a child 24/7 is really not easy.

YULIA GLOTOVA

My daughter Sasha is 1 year and 1 month old. I decided to use the first two months of maternity leave (before Sasha’s arrival) with maximum benefit. I went to daytime cinema, theater, exhibitions, concerts, lectures, wandered aimlessly around the city, met with friends, read and, of course, slept to my heart's content. It was a magical time. And then Sasha was born. Before pregnancy, maternity leave seemed like such a fabulous time, when with one hand I would rock a cradle with a sweetly sniffling baby, and with the other I would write a dissertation, paint oil paintings and comprehend the art of macrame. Everything turned out a little differently.

If you want to learn how to plan your time, ask advice from a woman who is alone all day baby. I was lucky: Sasha is a calm child, he can entertain himself for some time, but for the first six months I consciously did not look for any part-time work. I walked with the stroller in the park, listened to audiobooks and podcasts while Sasha basked in the summer sun. Now I'm glad for any hack work that I can do while Sasha is sleeping. I would like to say that I work part-time just to take my mind off it, but the main issue is money: my income has been cut in half, and expenses have increased by about the same amount.

What am I missing? I think, like everyone else: communication (before going on maternity leave, I worked as a brand manager at the Elena Shubina Editorial Office, I was surrounded by smart and interesting interlocutors), money and the opportunity to go somewhere at any moment. Shortly before the birth of the child, we moved to the Moscow region. I don’t drive a car, it’s difficult for me to get out of the area alone with a small child. Museums, exhibitions, theaters, meetings with friends - all this is available, yes. But you need to plan a week in advance: negotiate with the parents so that they can stay with Sasha, and if they can’t, figure out where to feed and change the child and adapt to his regime.

Impossible
don't engage in self-development when you're living
with baby

I am annoyed by the expression “active mothers” (are there inactive ones? Is this even possible?) and the idea broadcast from everywhere that, while on maternity leave, every modern girl I must have time to organize a small startup, open a confectionery shop producing custom cakes, and, as a last resort, start a beauty blog. If we fight for women’s rights, then also those who simply want to raise a child while on maternity leave.

Housing in Mytishchi is more affordable than in Moscow, which explains the crowds of mothers with strollers. Demand gives rise to supply: almost every yard has a playground, a huge number of development centers for children, a place to wander in silence with a stroller, an excellent park. But for mothers, the choice is meager: an art gallery (where there was recently an excellent exhibition of book graphics) and libraries (but they are depressing: events like “The Path of Pushkin’s Melodies” and “I Love You, My Native Land”). It seems to me that these institutions are in vain missing out on such a grateful public as mothers with children under two years old. My parents live in the center of Moscow, where the situation is the opposite: there are a lot of interesting things for mothers within walking distance, but you have to walk with your child along the roadway.

Sometimes you look through your friend’s feed and feel sad: life around you is in full swing. At such moments, I remind myself that maternity leave is a difficult, but wonderful time that will end very soon. Whether you get stuck in a routine or not is a matter entirely of your desire and self-discipline. But for the first time, I have no doubt that someone needs what I do.

ANNA ZAKHARIEVA

Before pregnancy, I worked in Moscow as an editor for an English-language website and briefly in Scotland at a language school. I have one child, a girl named Alexandra, she will be two years old in May. I've been on maternity leave for a little over two years.

Usually the first part of the day with the child is harder for me, because I still want to sleep, be lazy, sit at the computer, so sometimes I have to force myself a little. If it’s really unbearable or if I’m sick, I can turn on cartoons, I don’t have strict principles. Then comes the time for children's daytime sleep, which lasts on average two hours, sometimes three. At this time I usually read or watch something, if I'm lucky, useful, but sometimes a TV series. Over the past few months, I have been learning French, sometimes taking some courses on E-Learning.

I don't work. Partly because I now live in the small English city of Lincoln, in which it is difficult to find a more or less interesting job, with a flexible schedule it is almost impossible, but I don’t want an uninteresting one, and most of the salary would go to kindergarten. Partly it seems that my daughter is still small, and if there is no urgent need to go to work, I’d rather stay at home.

There is not much cultural life in Lincoln, but I sometimes go to three and a half local museums and galleries. I haven’t been to the theater for a very long time, and I really regret it. I go with my child almost always and everywhere, and occasionally I go for a walk alone when my husband stays with my daughter. Sometimes his parents, who live in a neighboring city, take the baby, and the two of us go to dinner or to the cinema; This happens once every few months. But what I miss, perhaps, is just solo walks, just to go drink coffee and read a book in silence or, God forgive me, to go buy myself a dress.

I only lived in Moscow for the first five months after the birth of my child, and then my leisure time was mainly drinking coffee with my girlfriends in the center or sitting with a stroller and a book in the park. After that, we lived in Edinburgh for almost a year, and there, like in many large cities in Britain, special screenings were held in cinemas every week, where you can come with children under one year old. At the same time, the films are not children's, but ordinary ones, both new and old, and for much less money than regular screenings. In both Edinburgh and Lincoln we went to libraries where children from birth to about four years old are read a short story every week for an hour, sing songs, tell rhymes, and at the end are given something to make. It’s convenient: children come to play and listen to a book, and mothers can chat. This "children's day" in libraries is almost everywhere in Britain and I think it is a very good idea because it is for very young ones.

Apart from the absence of Moscow friends and gatherings with them, I can’t remember anything that I had to give up - but this is the result of moving rather than going on maternity leave. Sometimes, of course, you feel sad that you can’t suddenly go to a bar or a movie in the middle of the night. But then I catch myself thinking that I did this extremely rarely before, that is, I miss not the freedom of movement itself, but the knowledge that I can go somewhere and do something at any time. In fact, I really managed to use the time of maternity leave for self-development, and for relaxation, and for travel (especially for travel!): I finally started learning French, which I dreamed of for years, but there was no opportunity; I watched films that I previously would have been a pity to waste time on, but which were worth it; I went with my family to places that I otherwise might not have gone to - both in Britain and abroad.

ALEXANDRA BAZHENOVA-SOROKINA

I am a philologist and teacher foreign languages, before the birth of my child, I worked for several years in the wonderful Moscow office of the Lingvoland studio and also worked under a contract at the HSE School of Philology. I went on maternity leave in the seventh month of pregnancy, it seems, and now my daughter is nine months old.

Now the baby already has quite a routine, and the day is structured much more simply than three months ago. It’s quite fortunate that many of the things I love to do in general, like listening to music or reading children’s books, can be done perfectly with a child (although I’ve also read adult books to her more than once). I work part-time: I translate and sometimes write articles, and I do a little academic work. This takes from half an hour to two to three hours a day, depending on many factors. I often write letters or work when the baby is playing or sleeping.

I am very lucky that my daughter’s grandparents live close and are always happy to be with the child - this is a huge help. I manage to visit friends from time to time, sometimes to the movies, and I’ve also been to the theater once. With the child, we have a great time going to places with food and parks. We would also go to the galleries, but most of them are quite far away - I don’t drive yet, but I have to use public transport in winter and in early spring I didn't want to at all. Well, they don’t allow children everywhere, which is sad.

It seems to me that at the moment there are two main problems that I see constantly and which would be true for all of Moscow: firstly, it is very difficult to travel with children in a stroller on public transport. Secondly, Moscow is a metropolis, a city in which everyone is in a hurry, everyone is tense, so when children are too conspicuous, not everyone likes it. Mothers often have a feeling of shame, and then they either simply get upset or try to behave as quietly as possible in public places so as not to embarrass anyone, or, on the contrary, they go to the other extreme - they simply stop paying attention to others and their needs. Everything is very individual, but there is no general culture of communication between adults and mothers and babies.

When your child falls asleep, you want to spend this time doing everything at once.

Of course, I would like all museums to be calm about visitors with children, so that there are more children’s rooms and mother and child corners, in libraries, for example. And I would be happy with some kind of physical activity for mothers with babies in the summer months - something like yoga or gymnastics in the park. And there is also a nationwide problem that is becoming more acute in Moscow - this is that the city, first of all, mentally (from the point of view of infrastructure too, but even this is secondary) does not want to accept children with special needs. In nine months of daily walks with the baby and at least three more months of daily walks before her birth, I saw a mother with a child with Down syndrome twice and a couple of times the same mother with a child with cerebral palsy. That is, I am offended if they looked at me and my child the wrong way in a cafe, but on my street there live people with children with whom they don’t even go to the playground. This is a terrible and shameful situation.

Of course, I had the feeling that my knowledge and skills were decreasing every day and when I returned from vacation, I would simply completely forget how to do everything. I'm lucky in that some of my hobbies fit perfectly with home life, they just don't fit well with sleep. It is clear that when the child falls asleep, you want to spend this time on everything at once, so you usually go to bed much later than you should. Well, I decided that a perfectly tidy house is less important to me than the opportunity to do what is really important to me: I clean, but without fanaticism. Thanks to my friends, I don't feel like I've fallen out of public life. Yes, there was less of it, but I was ready for it.

I had to give up painting and other activities, but I perfectly understood that this was a completely normal stage, and I didn’t feel inferior or disadvantaged. It seems to me that it is impossible not to engage in self-development when you live with a child, simply because you are with new side You open up to yourself, and the world to you too.

MARIA BIRYUKOVA

In September 2015, I gave birth to my daughter Alina. This is my first child, she is now almost 7 months old. Before going on maternity leave, I worked at Strelka Institute for five years as an executive producer and curator of a summer program.

With the birth of my daughter, my schedule has changed quite a lot. Now, on good days, she and I get up around eight, on less successful days, at 6:30 (previously, the work schedule allowed us to get up around nine). On very good days, my husband Petya takes the child in the morning for an hour or two and I can sleep a little longer. In the evening, I put Alina to bed around 9–10 pm, and here there is time for personal affairs and rest - according to an old habit, as a rule, I don’t go to bed before 1 am. At this time, I can cook something, quietly watch a series or read a little. I also go to a driving school now, so in the evening, as a rule, I study traffic rules. Once a week, on Tuesday evenings, my husband stays with the child, and I run to volleyball - a great way to relieve stress during the week alone with the baby. Somehow I haven’t managed to find a part-time job yet, although sitting at home without work is terribly unusual for me, an inveterate workaholic.

To be honest, in seven months with my child, neither I nor my husband have been to museums or theaters even once: we live far enough from the center, so going to a museum with a child on weekdays is problematic, and by the weekend a lot of things pile up. But I went to Zemfira’s concert quite recently, while my husband heroically defended the house with the baby. We live in Southern Medvedkovo, and there is not much normal leisure time here; there are not even decent cafes within walking distance. You can only go to the cinema (but without a small child) or go to the park (but for mom, the park is rather part of the daily routine, albeit pleasant with the onset of spring). It would be great, of course, to have the opportunity to spend time with your child in a more varied way.

If you are lucky with your health and nervous system child (like me), then there is enough time for self-development, especially since now there are a lot of all sorts of online resources, if there is a desire. But its place in a young mother is often taken by more prosaic desires, for example, to sleep. As for isolation from cultural and social life, yes, this is usually a problem. My friends basically continue to work in the mode that I had before maternity leave; no one is free before 9–10 pm, and after 10 pm I can’t go anywhere. Museums in Moscow are also mainly concentrated in the center, and it is not so easy for a mother with a small child from the outskirts to get to them without harming the baby and his regime. In general, I stopped worrying about social isolation quite quickly: I miss my friends and work, of course, but I understand that soon all this will return to my life, and Alinka will no longer be so small and funny. Everything has its time.

EKATERINE BUSSIER

My husband and I have three children: the eldest daughter Daria is five and a half years old, the middle daughter Svetlana, she is almost three years old, and the youngest son Daniil, he is 15 months old. I have been on maternity leave since the birth of our first daughter, in 2010. It was important for my husband and I to pay special attention to the first years of life, this unique time when the child lays the foundations of his personality, values, trust and love for the world, and self-confidence. And the basics of the language: for me, as a Russian mother living in France, it is very important that Russian is a native language, and not a foreign one.

Since the birth of my first daughter, I have worked part-time, and now I am learning the profession of a nanny. Part-time work currently takes 8 hours, 4 days a week. I laugh when answering the question about whether I manage to find time for myself. I remember my last trip to a beauty salon to have my eyebrows trimmed: we squeezed into a narrow office with a double stroller, and my three children watched the process with interest. Time has to be found or optimized: during quiet time, run to the hairdresser, read a book if you’re not feeling sleepy, and when silence reigns in the evening and everyone has fallen asleep, you can soak in a hot bath, watch a movie, or have a romantic dinner with your husband. A grandmother who can be entrusted with all the children at the same time helps out - go to a dance lesson with her husband, drink coffee with a friend, go shopping alone, without running after the children playing hide and seek in the fitting rooms.

Motherhood is a job without days off or vacation, where you carry your boss in your arms.

Our priority is still entertainment for children. For example, it's school holidays and I'm answering questions in the car - we're going to Disneyland in Paris. We try to travel around our region - Alsace, go to the sea, to the mountains several times a year, and once a year to Russia. We spend our time more intensely during the holidays and, if we find ourselves in a new place, we make the most of it for new experiences. We adapt the trips to the age of the children: the eldest really likes, for example, watching broadcasts of a ballet from Bolshoi Theater. My husband and I regularly go to the movies and occasionally to musical performances.

Our small town is not particularly suitable for children. Our advantage is nature: the town is surrounded by vineyards and mountains, where you can take great walks fresh air. The city hall does a great job of organizing children's entertainment during the school holidays, offering activities for of different ages. To support Russian culture, we organized a Russian club, where in a creative atmosphere with the support professional teacher classes on speech development are taking place.

Of course, when you become a mother, life changes dramatically: after a self-centered life with questions “who are you?”, “how?”, “where?” responsibility for another life or lives appears. And your life becomes a “service”, in some periods - a “sacrifice” of yourself. A constantly cold cup of tea is waiting for you in the kitchen, you are amazed at your ability to stay awake at night and do dozens of things at once, you dream of a free pair of hands and an all-inclusive vacation. This is a job without days off or vacation, where you carry the boss in your arms, and the salary is given in the form of hugs and kisses. And it is very difficult and amazing at the same time. When, having understood your physical and moral limits, you grow up, realizing this huge mission - the upbringing of a person. By giving up free time, freedom to manage yourself, work that brought you pleasure, good sleep, losing patience and the idea that you are ideal, you gain all-consuming love, multiplied by the number of your children, and an endless sense of pride.

Women have a unique opportunity to stop their running for a while and figure out whether they are heading in the right direction. This chance is maternity leave. And if you have a reliable rear, then why not try your hand at something new, own business? Our heroines did just that and changed their lives.

Photo by: Ksenia Kudrina

Mother of two-year-old Arseny and eight-month-old Stefania.Fashion boutique

Before maternity leave: Broker in a petroleum products wholesale company.

About the case: When my son was three months old, I realized that I was bored of being just a mother and wife, I wanted development, my own realization. But I was horrified by the thought of going to the office on a 5/2 schedule: not seeing my children, for the sake of realizing other people’s ambitions. It so happened that my mother and sister flew to Beijing, where they found amazing beauty fabrics, silks of different textures and types, amazing quality and at a very attractive price. My mother is a sewing technologist; she has been creating and sewing outfits for us all her adult life, but she never knew how to realize her talent and potential. My sister and I picked up the idea of ​​creating dresses from natural silk and promoting them on the Internet. The fifth collection was recently released.

About the "victims": I work 3-5 hours a day, and recently I’ve been going an extra full day once a week. I have to sacrifice time for myself: now I miss reading books, listening to music and watching movies, actively playing sports and even meeting with friends. Now it’s either children and family, or my business.

About difficulties: In reality, everything turned out to be completely different from what it seemed, from production to the launch of a new product on the market. There was a lack of knowledge, experience, budget, and connections. Now, with the advent of a second child, children growing up and business expansion, there is simply a catastrophic lack of time.

Advice to those who have doubts: If you doubt it, it means you are not ready yet. In your business you need to think a lot and work even more. And there is absolutely no one to shift responsibility for failures to. I would recommend initially doing only what you really like or in which you have experience, skill, knowledge; or there is a partner - a real professional in his field; or have access (as well as time and desire) to a large number information on the topic. It is also worth choosing a type of activity that, even in the most pessimistic scenarios, will bring you new knowledge, or material things, or acquaintances, and experience, of course. And you won't lose anything except time. These points will help you lower the level of importance, worry less about “what if it doesn’t work out?”, and focus more on the positive result. My motivation: “When if not now?” Ultimately, I'm building a legacy for my children rather than having to go to work to get a paycheck—it helps a lot.

Photo from Alice's personal archive

Before maternity leave: marketer in a large company

About the case: The topic of ecology and naturalness is very close to our family, from the very beginning I was puzzled by the choice of the very best toys for my only child at that time, I ordered them individually from craftsmen, brought them from abroad... In general, I was a real fanatic. And gradually the thought came that, probably, I’m not the only one, and it would help someone a lot if such toys were all in one place. The store is already more than 4 years old, during this time we have grown, and many people already know us. I made and came up with the website, logos, slogans myself, wrote articles for promotion, filled it in, changed it, until I began to completely like the result. Therefore, from the point of view of “advancement” in technical terms, they are not the most advanced, but from the point of view of the warmth and real emotions invested, I think they were quite successful. With the birth of our third daughter, we moved out of town, and the idea came to create our own family club for mothers and children.

About the "victims": I have 4 working days a week, of which 4-5 hours are spent on work. At first, I had to sacrifice a night's sleep. But I’m a night owl, so I worked even more efficiently. There are also periods when it seems like you don’t have time to do anything, but this quickly passes.

About difficulties: Organize everything. Set it up exactly so that you like it, it would be convenient and understandable. The second difficulty is that in your business you are, as they say, both a Swiss and a reaper. This is difficult for those who leave large companies, where there is a specialist for every question. And, of course, the scale itself can be discouraging at first: there is a lot of work, but the result is small. But what is important here is patience and faith that people need your business.

Advice to those who have doubts: Sample! If your thoughts keep coming back to the same thing, you feel that this is yours, you want to start, but are afraid, start boldly. It’s better to do it and regret it than not to do it and regret it.

Anastasia Kuntsevich

Mother of two-year-old Savely. Unsweetened desserts

Before maternity leave: Logistics Manager.

About the case: My environment pushed me to do something. A friend came up with a small business for herself, and I also wanted something interesting and unusual. Previously, there were already attempts to produce both sweet cakes and portioned desserts. But there is huge competition in this niche. So I came up with my own savory project. And yes, moral satisfaction from doing what you love is, of course, good, but money is never superfluous. Therefore, after maternity leave I still plan to return to my main job.

About the "victims": I find it difficult to answer. If there are orders (and they almost always are), then it takes time both to purchase products and to make the cake. I try to do as much as possible when my son is sleeping. Plus, communicating with clients also takes a lot of time.

About difficulties: If the son is not in the mood, then there is no question of any of his own affairs. Everything has to be put off overnight. But I also want to sleep. So there is only one problem - lack of time!

Advice to those who have doubts: It is better to regret what is done than what is not done. Therefore, if you want to do something, you need to take it and do it without putting it aside.

Ekaterina Vlasova

Photo from Catherine’s personal archive

Mother of five-year-old Kira and three-year-old Sasha. Newborn photographer

Before maternity leave: sales manager at a consulting agency.

About the case: I gave birth to my second child before leaving the first maternity leave; it turned out that I spent a total of 5 years at home. It is very difficult to remain idle for such a long time. Therefore, when my youngest became at least a little more independent, I began to look for options for part-time work at home. And after several unsuccessful endeavors, I settled on photo retouching. And a year later I realized that I wanted to shoot myself, so I took my husband’s old camera, advertised it on the Internet, and away we go.

About the "victims": You don’t have to sacrifice anything, thank God, quite the opposite. I only do photo shoots on weekends, and my husband always assists me. Since I’m free on weekdays, I raise the children myself and don’t take them to kindergarten, which would be impossible with a 5/2 schedule.

About difficulties: Any undertaking requires money, I had to borrow it. It's always a risk. But, as they say, those who don’t take risks don’t drink. My business paid off within a month.

Advice to those who have doubts: Everything is real! If you want to work for yourself, just work! In any case, you can always go back to the office, but I don't think you'll want to.

Anastasia Mikhailova

Photo from Anastasia’s personal archive

Mother of three-year-old Julian and one-and-a-half-year-old Valentin.English club for mothers with children

Before maternity leave: Several types of activities - from accountant to corporate client manager.

About the case: It all started with a love for language and children. Being a native speaker, she instilled it in her eldest from birth. Later I realized that this is simply necessary: ​​to instill a second language before the age of three for better pronunciation and easier learning at a later age. I attended trainings and read the necessary literature. I decided to create a club for young mothers and teach them how to introduce language to babies.

About the "victims": During my work at the club, a nanny takes care of the children, so being away from home for a couple of hours is not at all scary, especially since the child learns something from the nannies.

About difficulties: Preparing for classes takes time. I do it after I put the kids to bed. This is a little difficult, given the fact that the youngest is in his arms all the time, and it is not possible to rest during the day.

Advice to those who have doubts: If you have an interesting idea and a strong desire, then all the stars will align and you will have the opportunity to realize this idea. The main thing is to take a step forward and think only positively! You will immediately break out of your home routine, which will bring you a lot of new emotions.

Stories are stories, but when it comes down to it own life, questions arise: where to start, where to go, what can I even do? I suggest you read this one. I really liked it detailed description everyone possible option earnings for a mother on maternity leave, some of which are through personal experience author. But you will find several non-standard approaches to business while on maternity leave, which, although they will require some investments, should theoretically pay for themselves. I do not know, I have not tried it. But some ideas seem quite reasonable and interesting. Moreover, I have seen their implementation in life. I recommend!

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