How to communicate with the man you love. How to talk to a man. How to be interesting

There are no simple relationships between completely different people. No one disputes the assertion that women are a mystery. And everyone knows how women’s logic is capable of smashing men’s logic to smithereens. Anecdotes are told about mutual understanding between the sexes.
But every woman wonders how to communicate with a man and avoid mistakes, what to do so that he hears her, how to remain interesting to him.

Curiosity is a keen interest not in what is good and beautiful, but in what is rare.
Jean de La Bruyère

About the psychology of the stronger sex

One obvious truth: men are males

This is their strongest natural instinct. It is vital for them to recognize themselves as a leader in any area: from work to family relations and personal hobbies.

Not a single representative of the stronger sex needs a woman next to her who always argues and is sure that she is always right. How to communicate with a guy? First of all, he expects support and a worthy assessment of his ideas. So give it to him. Your words that he is right, that his plans are grandiose, that only victory awaits him, will bring another plus to your piggy bank. And if before that he thought that you were nothing of yourself, now the direction of his thoughts will be different, there is definitely something in you.

Another truth: they are big kids.

The children have grown up, and so have their toys. Discuss his new car with him, praise his choice, and if you know a little about them, you can have deeper conversations. Toys can be different: fishing, hunting, subordinates... But you never know what else interests him. He will see you as a worthy, understanding interlocutor.

If a truly trusting relationship has already developed, the man himself can tell you how to behave correctly with him. Ask him about it. And in general, try to speak with him openly and directly, so as not to do something that he will not like or will cause irritation. Explain to him that you expect the same frankness in return.

8 rules for keeping a man's interest

Psychologists advise following a few simple rules for communicating with a man so that he always has an interest in you, so that in his eyes you remain a woman with whom it is easy, pleasant and interesting.

Be polite

Nobody canceled politeness. “Thank you”, “please” and other words of politeness are very useful. And if you make a remark, then only in the correct form. Even quarrels should not tear a stream of anger and dirt out of your mouth. First of all, words can kill. Secondly, you risk saying something that you will regret and will not be able to correct the impression of yourself as a hysterical person. Respect him and yourself too.

Not demands, but requests

Nobody likes arrogant and narcissistic people. Whatever you ask, do it politely. On the one hand, wiping your feet on the person you want to be interested in is unwise. Your strength is in your weakness. Have you heard of this? And you don't know how to communicate with a guy? A request expressed in an uncertain, soft tone with naive helplessness in his gaze - and he is ready to move mountains for you, and not just do some little thing.

Talk about everything

It is so simple. You have to be really interesting, educated, well-read. You are not at all required to shine with your knowledge in different areas. It is enough to keep the conversation going, appropriately and competently, but only when you actually have knowledge in this area. Otherwise, you risk being branded a fool. But all this works if the man is really smart. And if the object of your sympathy does not shine with erudition, you will have to once again not demonstrate your education, so as not to scare off the gentleman.

Quarrels and scandals

This absolutely should not happen. Your screams and hysterics will cause a reaction that is not at all what you would like. He will not obey, will not feel sorry for you, but will leave, slamming the door, or drive you away. Moreover, if the reason, from his point of view, is insignificant. Well, I didn't call. Well, I was talking to an unfamiliar girl on some network or on the street. You never know what else. Rinse your brains over such nonsense! You will achieve much more with a sad look and a rolling tear. And if a quarrel cannot be avoided, you will have to calmly and without hysterics express all your complaints, without omissions, hints, moralizing and shouting.

Often a man doesn’t even realize how important some things are to you, which he considers stupid. Tell him about it. Try to understand him, and then in return he will do the same.

A breath of freedom

Texting every few minutes will drive anyone crazy. And you don’t need to call every minute. A man has a life and interests other than you. For him, going to football with friends or fishing on the weekend is no less significant than going on a date with you. This is his personal space. You can easily use the time of forced solitude for your benefit - make a face mask, visit a beauty salon, have a bachelorette party, or just watch your favorite melodrama under the blanket with a cup of chamomile tea. Let him go. He will miss you and will gladly rush to meet you and call you himself. And you don't have to pretend that you don't care. He will be very pleased to understand that you missed him and were looking forward to meeting him.

Control

Would you like it when every sneeze is taken into account? Don't make this mistake. Let him have some freedom from you in this too. Let your attention not be intrusive. Your man is very uncomfortable under the hood.
Of course, there is a category of men who dream of a woman who is a mother. But for the most part, they dream of a caring, attentive, kind soulmate.

Mood

It is unlikely that a man will have the satisfaction of constantly bothering Nesmeyana. Your dissatisfied expression on your face is quite capable of ruining the mood of even a complacent man. The most correct answer to the question of how to communicate with a man is one: with a smile. It will make your boyfriend smile back. Yours great mood will cheer him up too.

Ability to listen and hear

When a person shares his feelings, problems, joys, it is important for him that the person who is nearby not only listens, but also hears him. It is important for him that the interlocutor is truly interested in the conversation. And if the monologue turns into a lively dialogue, the man will be subdued.

virtual communication

It is important to be able to communicate correctly with a man on the Internet. In this case, it is very important to clearly express your thoughts, provide detailed specific examples, try to avoid common words. Uncertainties give rise to unfounded fantasies in your interlocutor. So write and speak honestly and accurately if you communicate on a website or social network page. It is better for your communication to go into some kind of video chat. This will give you the opportunity to find out exactly who you are dealing with.

But you must always remember that if your relationship continues in life, then all your words will have to be confirmed. The simplest details will allow a man to imagine you as a real woman, whom he is ready to accept with her shortcomings, which he is aware of in advance. You will be much more offended if he imagines some ideal and is frankly disappointed.

conclusions

Few people think about whether they know how to communicate with the opposite sex. We can all talk. It is by talking that we begin to understand the other, express feelings and emotions, and explain desires. When we communicate with a person we like, it is quite understandable to want to arouse reciprocal interest. And if you simply interest a person, then maintaining interest for a long time is much more difficult. We hope you find these tips useful.

When building relationships with guys, it is important to adhere to certain rules. Many girls feel awkward, shy, and some begin to behave too provocatively and boldly, trying to disguise their embarrassment. Often a girl puts on some kind of mask, inventing an image for herself that is too different from herself. As a result, communication can become unpleasant and relationships become too confusing. Be yourself, remember simple recommendations and always follow them. You will quickly learn how to communicate correctly with guys and become a natural, pleasant and interesting conversationalist.

Rules for communicating with guys. Your goals
First of all, think about why you are establishing a relationship with a particular guy. This will also have an impact on communication. Try not to constantly change your strategies and behavior patterns, and do not mislead people. In the process of communication, you should not play a double game, try to deceive the guy. No one will like falsehood and manipulation methods. This way you can accidentally push someone away from you without even meaning to.

Acquaintance. If your communication with a guy is still at the initial stage, you are getting to know each other, do not place any accents yourself. Sometimes girls immediately begin to establish closer contact. Someone, on the contrary, instantly makes you feel the distance, shows that only friendship is possible between them. You haven’t yet managed to understand what kind of guy is in front of you, how do you know how the relationship will develop later? Most often, after a while, a girl has to radically change her manner of communication when she becomes disappointed in a guy or suddenly sees him positive sides. The young man will eventually decide that the girl is fickle and doesn’t know what she is striving for. In most cases, the impression remains unpleasant. In addition, the guy himself may want to outline the development of the relationship. If you do everything for him, he will not feel responsible.
Friendship. When you have already determined that you would like to be friends with the guy, try, if necessary, to gently show this. Communication should be natural, it is important to build relationships honestly. There is no need to leave any ambiguities. If a guy has any illusions, they need to be dispelled. Otherwise, you will find yourself hostage to the wrong manner of communication: the longer you support the guy’s misconceptions about your potential development of the relationship, the more difficult it will be to explain to him how you really feel. It’s no secret that some girls, not knowing exactly how the romance with their loved one will turn out, plan a “spare” with another guy. And then they act according to the circumstances. Don't play with fire! If you do this, you hurt another person, sooner or later the same thing can happen to you. It is better to decide on all the priorities at once.
Love. Have you fallen in love? Yes, then it’s simply necessary to communicate correctly with guys! You can make some of the most common mistakes that will push your loved one away from you. Try to adhere to some rules so that everything goes well and communication is always pleasant:
- do not hide your feelings, do not demonstrate indifference or arrogance, deliberately be late for dates, etc.;
- do not rush to “throw yourself on the guy’s neck”;
- behave carefully and do not try to arouse jealousy or test the feelings of your loved one: why provoke the guy and worsen your relationship?

Having found out what kind of relationship you are in the mood for, begin to calmly and carefully build it. Show care, attention, try to be yourself. Communication should be pleasant for both of you!

Let's learn how to communicate with guys correctly. Some tips
Observe simple rules so that your communication with guys is easy, natural and positive.

Be yourself. Create your image, change styles, correct flaws and improve for the sake of your loved one. But always be yourself. Don't try to appear better, weaker, stronger than you really are. You can become sincerely interested in the guy's hobby, even start going to football or hiking with him. Just don’t change at all, completely adapting to his interests, and don’t try to deceive him by saying that cars are your passion. Especially if you don’t know an Opel from an Audi. Your game will open quickly, and the guy will be disappointed.
Don't talk too much. Let the guy do the talking too. He'll probably get bored quickly if he just listens to you and can't get a word in edgewise. You have a great opportunity to get to know the guy better, see how he behaves, how he directs the conversation, and what he is interested in. Sometimes girls start talking a lot out of embarrassment, some try to brag about their achievements. This should not be done - communication should be natural, two-way.
Do not be silent. The other extreme is silence. The girl is shy and doesn’t know how to properly carry on a conversation. The guy will be completely unaware: maybe you’re not interested? Or have you been thinking about your own things for a long time and not listening to them? Try to keep the conversation going, and if you don’t know or don’t understand something, just ask.
Let him make the date. There is no point in hinting at the next meeting. It is much better if the guy makes the next appointment himself. The initiative must come from him. He will not only be happy about his main role in the couple, but will also feel a certain responsibility.
Modesty. Many people are concerned about what modesty is. And is she needed? modern girl? Of course! This does not mean that you need to frown, be shy, or shy away from any approach. You just shouldn’t agree to everything right away and demonstrate excessive courage and looseness. It is likely that at first the guy will even like this behavior, but then he will definitely think about whether your relationship is worth taking as serious. Maybe such a girl is just frivolous? The young man will probably decide that everything is not so important, since the relationship is developing so quickly.
Cloth. Choose outfits according to the occasion. Why show off in a gorgeous dress if you're just going out for a walk? The guy is dressed simply, but you remind him Hollywood star... He will feel awkward. Perhaps he will conclude that clothes play too big a role for you.
Cosmetics. The ideal option is to use a minimum of cosmetics and stick to one set of natural shades. Otherwise, the guy will probably wonder: what are you hiding under layers of makeup? Why is this so necessary?.. Emphasize your natural beauty, do not make a mask out of your face. Remember that most guys are not crazy about artificial looks.
Attentiveness and sensitivity. Does your boyfriend talk about himself too much? Did you want to point out his mistakes? Be careful! It is very important to be sensitive: it is very easy to offend a person, but it is not easy to correct the situation later. Try to behave delicately.
Positive. A positive attitude will help you communicate correctly with guys. Build relationships freely, do not embarrass yourself. There is no point in discussing problems for a long time or complaining about troubles. Let communication bring joy.

Build relationships, understand your feelings yourself and try not to deceive guys. Save face, enjoy every conversation and be tactful. Then communication with guys will be pleasant!

Usually, when communicating with a man, women rarely consciously make efforts to be correctly understood, and in vain! In this case, we measure the representatives of the stronger sex by our own, feminine standards, and then throw up our hands, despairing of “getting through” to our loved one. Why is this happening? The answer to this question is from Alan and Barbara Pease, authors of the book “The Language of Relationships. Man and woman".

Thinking out loud in front of a man
A woman's mind is programmed to use speech as the main means of expression. If a man has five or six things to do, he will limit himself to one phrase: “I have something to do, see you later.” A woman, on the other hand, will most likely list all five tasks to her interlocutor in random order and mention all the options and possibilities (I should be there, do this, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll go somewhere else, and so on).

Why does it annoy them:

A woman’s search for a solution to an issue, which is “thinking out loud,” is perceived by a man as endless, and most importantly, tedious chatter that should be ignored, or worse, as a call for help.

Work on mistakes

To stop thinking about problems, there is only one way for a woman - to talk about them. Therefore, when you talk about your affairs, you are not going to transfer the solution to your problems to someone else and put your burden on someone else's shoulders. Tell your loved one about this feminine feature. And remember that a man’s silence does not mean that he “doesn’t care.”
Conversate about several things at once
The information flow between the left and right hemispheres of a woman is more powerful, and, in addition, there are special areas of the brain responsible for speech: this is why we can talk about several things at the same time - sometimes in one sentence.
Why does it annoy them:

Women's versatility frightens a man, whose brain can only follow one line and process information on only one topic at a time. A woman can start with one subject, jump to another in the middle of a sentence, and then without warning return to the first, simultaneously mentioning something completely unrelated. This stupefies and confuses a man.

Work on mistakes

If you want a man to hear and understand you, do not jump from subject to subject. Speak only about one topic that concerns you.
Interrupt
Men only interrupt each other when they are aggressive or feeling competitive. For a woman, on the contrary, constant delivery of remarks means attention to the interlocutor. But our attempts to turn the conversation into a multifaceted conversation in order to impress a man are doomed to failure. The stronger sex perceives them as a rude interference in their speech.

Why does it annoy them:

The man’s phrase is solution-oriented, and he needs to bring it to the end, otherwise the conversation will seem pointless to him. He cannot hold multiple lines at different points in a conversation, and he considers anyone who does so to be impolite or slack.

Work on mistakes

Have pity on the men! They take turns speaking because they can either talk or listen - they are unable to do both. Be lenient and let him say whatever he wanted. Just don't interrupt.
Speak in hints
Talking “around the bush” is a purely female specialty and serves a specific purpose: with the help of such a conversation it is easier to establish relationships and come to an agreement with others, since in such speech there is no aggression, confrontation and disagreements are avoided. It fully corresponds to the role of the nest keeper, who needs to maintain harmony.

Why does it annoy them:

Men are nervous about the lack of logic and expediency in the conversation; they accuse women of not knowing what they are talking about.

Work on mistakes

Let us know in advance what time and what exactly you want to talk about, what issue to discuss. This approach appeals to a man’s logic, corresponds to the structure of his brain, allows him to feel his importance and shifts the solution to the problem onto his shoulders.

Do not start questions with “could” or “could”: a man interprets “Can you” as “Are you capable?” and, following this logic, answers “Yes!” - he can, but for him these words are not connected with a specific action.

In addition, when the question is posed this way, the man gets the impression that he is being manipulated, tricked into saying “yes.”

To encourage a man to take action, ask in a different form, for example: “Will you call me in the evening?”, implying a question whether he is busy tonight. The man will answer “yes” or “no.” It’s better for you to get a “no” answer to your question and know how the evening will go than to hear a “yes” to every “could” and be left in uncertainty. A man proposing to a woman will always say, “Will you marry me?”, but never, “Could you marry me?”
Expressing resentment in silence
Women use words to show affection and build relationships, and so words are a kind of reward for us. Men are built differently and rarely take seriously the “terrible female threat” - “I’ll stop talking to you.”

Why does it annoy them:

And who said that this annoys a man? Such a threat is an excellent opportunity for him to take a break from chatter. At least he perceives the first nine minutes of your silence as an unexpected bonus in the form of silence, peace and quiet.

Work on mistakes

Do not rush to open your mouth and say something before this time is up, no matter how much you want to, otherwise the man will not feel punished.

Reading time: 3 min

How to communicate with men? Understanding how to communicate correctly with your stronger half is acquired with experience, as well as life wisdom, this is a skill that requires separate development. It is impossible to understand a man completely from the beginning based on differences in psychological specifics, methods of implementation, existing values, and other things. Indeed, the differences between the sexes are great and this manifests itself even in communication and relationships.

Knowledge of this kind can be useful in completely different situations, when the sense of novelty disappears and the relationship becomes cool, when there is interest in a particular man, when it is necessary to convey information or understand what he wants from you. All aspects of communication from intimate to business, as well as from personal to virtual, include the ability to interact and take into account the psychology of men. Naturally, each person requires an individual, unique approach, but there are also general rules, helping to initially build communication in a constructive manner of understanding and respect. These are the basic principles that you should try to achieve, because if a man does not respect a woman as an interlocutor and does not take into account her opinions, then other attempts to form a dialogue will be useless.

How to communicate with men? Start with the courage to be yourself. When communicating, everyone lacks this, but it is especially evident in women, the desire to please and adjust oneself to the needs of others, who have an increased desire. State the facts directly, without long introductions or embellishment, speak your personal opinion, and do not confirm the words of a man - and they will begin to listen to you, at least because you are different from mass society, pouring marshmallow syrup on everyone in a desire to please. Men value simplicity and do not accept manipulation, therefore, if you have an image of being simple and honest, then the lion's share of successful communication will be done.

How to communicate with men correctly

The psychology of communicating with a man should develop in you not the ability to pretend and, but the ability to cooperate and convey your thoughts. Learn to be sensible in order to highlight the main thing and focus attention on this, and not go to the side and get bogged down in details. The ability to listen and hear your interlocutor will also be very useful to you. That is, to learn how to communicate with men, you don’t have to make extra efforts and radically change your way of interaction. To do this, you need to familiarize yourself with only a few features, as well as develop successful communication skills that will be useful in communicating with women, children and the elderly, with all people, no matter what criteria you divide them into.

The psychology of proper communication with a man is based on simplicity, therefore the main rule in order to be heard and understood correctly is the directness of your words. Naturally, it should be correct and relate exclusively to yours and your opinion when asked about it. Offensive language is not a necessary extreme, so you should not point out to a man his shortcomings in a direct and cruel manner, or often put pressure on his weak points. This kind of behavior can scare anyone away. Directness in a conversation with a man comes down to your ability to indicate the main thing in your message, and this is where you should start the conversation. If another woman listens to you for ten minutes, waiting for the outcome and the main idea, then the man actively perceives the information in the first half minute of your monologue and considers this information to be the main one. If you didn’t start directly and immediately with a topic or issue that interests you, then by approaching this after a while, you have already lost male attention and will have to make extra efforts to attract it or accept it.

Give up the desire to play any role and fit into the image of a woman that this man will like. The plan is a failure because you cannot fully know what image he likes, and any game will reveal itself over time, since no person can pretend forever. Of course, the mechanisms of yours and acceptance are involved here, so before you train on others, restore an adequate sense of self and, despite the presence of shortcomings (everyone has), be yourself, perhaps precisely for those traits that you do not recognize and eradicate, the man will love you.

Build communication in such a way that the man does not experience this feeling that forces other people to avoid communicating with the person who caused it. It’s better to find moments when a man deserves praise and compliments, and you don’t have to wait for heroic deeds for this. The stereotype about male strength and severity and the unacceptability of all sentimentality and tenderness is too strong, but in the end it plunges them into a world where there is no gratitude and expression of feelings towards them. Even the strongest need support and approval; they can support a person and give inspiration and strength, and gratitude for such a feeling of self will not keep you waiting long.

Avoid quarrels and arguments, because for men these are not ways to clarify relationships and get to know the other better, but a real confrontation that requires the mobilization of all forces and actualizes the fear of defeat. If you see that he is wrong, then it is better to remain silent than to continue to prove that you are right - this way you will not only save a lot of nerves, but also will not move from the role of a woman to the role of a rival. To prevent him from perceiving your arguments as aggression, watch not the text, but the intonation.

Basically in a conversation with a man for the most part watch the volume and tone at which you pronounce the words, because a raised tone (even if you want to express your concern, confusion, need for his participation) causes a reaction of either defense or confrontation. In any of these manifestations, you lose constructive dialogue. In addition to controlling intonation, allow pauses to occur in the dialogue - when a man becomes silent, this is not a signal that he has finished his thought, has stopped communicating with you or is ignoring you, most often this is the process of his internal reasoning. Women tend to think out loud, this is how they find a way out - simply by calling and telling a friend the situation, and in the process of talking through it, a solution comes. Men think without words, so if your question is more complex than choosing between tea and coffee, leave moments for decision-making.

Questions deserve a separate moment of clarification. A large number of They, on the female side, force the man to tense up and avoid communication in all sorts of ways. Usually women think that this is a sign of secrecy and deception and attack with even greater persistence. If you see that a man is withdrawing from communication, it is better to stop asking any questions for a while, give him freedom and be less active in dragging him out for a frank conversation. When he is ready and the time comes, he will tell everything himself. Typically, men rarely use the feminine technique of understatement, but mean only what they wanted to say. If a man says that the cookies are not tasty, then he means solely the taste of the cookies, and not that you don’t like him, if he asks you to feed him, then this is not a reproach to you, but hunger.

How to communicate correctly with any man

To build a conversation with absolutely any man, you need to choose the right time for this communication. When choosing the evening time of day, after work, remember that you are communicating with a tired and exhausted person, who most likely has some stress from the day's events, and possibly troubles. If you talk about something important or discuss unpleasant moments in this state, you risk getting an aggressive reaction or avoiding the conversation. Acceptable topics in the evening may be discussion of the day and support; leave heavier ones for a more resourceful state.

If you see that a man is tense and upset about something, then you don’t need to jump around him, asking about troubles. Your girlfriend will appreciate such participation, and for a man, the best thing you can do is to provide a comfortable and calm atmosphere, so that at least nothing around you irritates him nervous system. It is not common for men to share problems; they rather try to find a way out, and this requires silence and the opportunity to think. If he needs your support or advice, he will tell and ask about everything himself. Questions that plunge you into questions relate to any topic of feelings, since it is less free for men than for women. Therefore, just to turn it off for a few minutes from reality, you can ask “what are you feeling now?” If you want to learn something from this area, then it is better to appeal to thoughts and conclusions - there will be more sense, and you will get at least some then the answer.

In dialogues, remember to be concise, both on your part and on his. If you ask a question that can be answered in one word, then that is the answer you will get. Men expect the same from you. A lot of details and backstories are confusing, and they lose the meaning of your story, and they themselves tend to manifest themselves more in actions than words, so they are few in words. A man’s words usually refer only to a given moment, so you shouldn’t rely on their meaning; even men themselves say that actions are more truthful. That is, if you heard that he loves you, then yes, it was at that moment that he loved you, but if at the same time you have not seen each other for a month, and all the steps forward are only from you, then draw conclusions based on your actions without abandoning questioning text messages from a young man.

If you need something, ask directly and frankly. Men do not like a commanding tone and manipulation with feelings of guilt - some get angry. Some are offended, but no one runs to fulfill your needs. A request, with recognition of his skills in this area, inspires the man himself and forces him to do for you as much and quickly as possible what you want. In addition, remember that men evaluate themselves and those around them through achievements and actions, so by giving him the opportunity to accomplish something, you allow him to realize his own feelings.

Avoid pressure, because a woman’s strength lies in her softness and ability to adapt, and when you put pressure on a man, argue with him to the bitter end, then in his perception you become the same man and he begins to compete with you. Let him better get the impression that he makes all the decisions, and you support him, and this can be achieved not only by direct confrontation, but by gradually explaining your vision of the situation, periodically pointing out examples without pressure. It may take longer, but you will definitely not remain enemies.

How to communicate with a man on the Internet

Communication on the Internet significantly simplifies many psychological difficulties when communicating - you can adjust your social profile as you like, if you have complexes, there is no need for eye contact, which confuses many, and the text can always be edited before sending, which minimizes the number of regrets about an accidentally thrown phrase. Naturally, there are also disadvantages, because not only you, but also the person on the other end of the chat can provide information that is not yours, turn out to be a scammer, or be a pleasant conversationalist only online, actively using Wikipedia and Google. This applies to virtual dating, while many real meetings continue online, because it is convenient.

In any case, to communicate on the Internet it is necessary to maintain a rich conversation, not only intellectually, but also emotionally. Topics that include a man's interests are great, but be careful if the topic doesn't spark your interest, as this can be felt even through printed text and can offend the other person. It's best to demonstrate your interest by asking questions, but don't be intrusive in an effort to force things. No matter how brave a man is in correspondence, steps towards developing relationships (whether it is exchanging photos or translating communication into reality) must come from him.

Answer the man’s questions in a few sentences, post full biography to nothing. If he is delicate and doesn’t ask questions, then talk about your life or hobbies yourself, you can share events in the city and funny links. Regulate the frequency of communication and end the dialogue before you get bored with your interlocutor. The first signs can be seen in monosyllabic answers and frequent pauses between messages. At the end of the dialogue, do not forget about goodbye, and do not just leave the network - wishes for a good evening and Good night quite appropriate, you can even add music or pictures. Leave the person with a feeling of pleasant completion, then the next communication will be joyful.

In general, it is better to communicate a little less, but with a high level of interest, than every day, but painfully looking for topics to maintain dialogue. And if you feel that your interest is becoming more than just periodic correspondence, then do not delay with devirtualization, so as not to fantasize too much about the person.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

They say that even being silent with a loved one is interesting. This is true. But to reach this stage, you need to communicate with him a lot. This is to understand whether you really will ever form an ideal couple.

But now we’ll discuss how to properly communicate with a man from the day you met. Everything is important: what you are talking about, your voice intonation, the articulation of your speech, and even what psychotype your interlocutor is. Moreover, each man can react differently to the same conversation.

Just to make it clear: auditory learners are people who perceive the world mainly by ear. Each person's representational system is developed differently, but most people receive information from everything at once:

from visual images
from various sounds,
from smell and touch.

There are not so many pure audios, but this does not mean that they stand out in any way. For example, with big ears and small eyes. No, quite okay ordinary people. But they can sometimes be recognized by their behavior.

The auditory person may not visually notice what is going on around him: whether there is a mess in the room, or what you are wearing and what hairstyle you have. There’s even some advantage to this: he won’t turn his nose up if he finds you at home in the morning, where it’s a complete barracks, and you’re not wearing makeup. And he won’t even remember this when he leaves.

But he has a peculiarity. He will remember the entire conversation down to the slightest intonation. He will hear what you whisper to someone on the phone. He will feel the falseness in your voice. Some auditory people even suffer from this peculiarity - acute hearing sometimes prevents them from falling asleep due to the slightest rustle.

It is not difficult to recognize an auditory person - he “feels” music perfectly and is able to guess any melody from three notes. Answering a question, he tilts his head to his shoulder, as if listening to his thoughts. And during a conversation, they can generally sit with their backs to their interlocutor, without looking him in the eyes.

So, be careful with such a man. The excuse “he won’t pay attention to this conversation” won’t work. He will cut everything off, even if he tactfully remains silent. But he will draw conclusions for himself - whether it is worth continuing communication with you further.

You've probably noticed how people react to the way you communicate. If not, then be sure to take a closer look. Here are the reactions and why they happen.

Your interlocutor nods his head for a long time, and, occasionally interrupting you, tries to shift the conversation to another topic. Perhaps you consider yourself the queen of monologue. You get carried away by a topic that interests you, and you try to speak out about it yourself, without listening to your interlocutor. And this works out for you for a very long time!

Your interlocutor is trying to quickly end the conversation and leave. Perhaps you speak boringly with the same intonation. It affects a person like a mosquito squeak. I want to brush it off, close my ears, kill the irritant or run away from it. Auditory learners especially suffer from this - literally to the point of headaches.

Your interlocutor is irritated and nervous, even if he smiles crookedly. Perhaps you are “bringing a blizzard”: blurting out what is not required, becoming personal and aggressive in tone. This is how they react to angry women in line or to inadequate drunks. And talking to an idiot means sinking to his level.

Therefore, when talking to a man, control your speech, intonation and voice. And for this you need to look at yourself through his eyes. How to do it:

set the camera to record;
looking at it, tell me some difficult episode from your life;
listen and watch the recording carefully.

Now analyze it yourself - would you be interested in a conversation with such a woman? Is it easy for you to accept it? What was the intonation, was the voice pleasant, were there any boring or shrill notes. Only honestly! If you don’t like yourself, then train until you get a positive result.

Well, it's time to start practicing. Here you are in a new company where there are many interesting men. Have you noticed that usually in companies all the laurels go to the most interesting storyteller? He knows how to listen, insert a phrase on the topic and tell a sparkling joke. And it doesn’t matter what his appearance is - everyone is in love with him. True, these laurels most often go to men. But why don't you try it too?

What should you avoid?

Unnatural voice. You know, some women come up with the image of a little girl. Dress accordingly. And so, in accordance with their image, they “break” the voice into a child’s voice, and even with drawn-out vowels. Is this cute? This is silly.

Absolute lies. You've probably noticed such braggarts among women: they begin to compose some kind of beautiful story, and then she herself doesn’t notice that she is spinning herself into fairy tales, passing everything off as the truth. But such women cause nothing but laughter at her.

Rough tone with swearing. Even if swearing is normal in a company, it still sounds disgusting from a woman’s mouth. And if it’s also mixed with vulgar slang, then in general it’s “lights out.” This is only forgivable for angular teenage girls, not for women.

In general, the best feature of girls is to be natural and feminine, but this still needs to be learned. If you are just at the origins of this science, then you can find out all the details in the article. This is where you start - listen more to your counterpart, insert a phrase and smile on the topic.

Take a closer look - if you managed to “hook” at least one attentive male listener, then you are going in the right direction. But a nuance - look at his face. Is he really interested in listening to you, and does he look you in the eyes? If his eyes dart somewhere around your neckline, it means he is not interested in your story at all.

And now you have fallen in love, the man arouses your keen interest, and he, in turn, invites you on a date. By the way, about the first meeting. It is highly recommended that you first read the article, it also contains tips on one-on-one conversations.

But let’s look at how to start communicating and correctly conduct a dialogue with a man according to his psychotype:

Noisy and ambitious choleric loves to attract attention. He gestures a lot, interrupts and brags. You yourself can feel how he is carried away by his own importance, but do not knock him down. Listen and admire! He will be happy.

Cheerful and cheerful sanguine person can shower you with compliments and humor you all evening. But he, unlike the choleric person, expects a response from you - a live dialogue, and not just silent admiration. Otherwise he may get confused.

Balanced and calm phlegmatic not very talkative and rather prefers to listen. But you might get bored yourself and try to get him to talk. He will be happy to support the dialogue, only on one condition - if he is familiar with the topic and it is interesting to him. The phlegmatic person is far from being an idle talker.

Melancholic- again the case with the “one-goal game”, he also loves his own monologue. Only he will not speak, brag, or gesticulate. On the contrary, he loves to complain. And no matter how much you convince him that everything will be fine, he will still revel in his failures.

Whether you want to have a relationship with this man in the future or not is up to you to decide, but you will already know what to expect from him in a conversation. But if you have found common topics and interests, then a little later you will learn how to structure a conversation: who needs to remain silent, and who is free to scratch their tongue.

Well, you already know each other enough, so each other’s behavior no longer causes you to be in shock. But the first disagreements begin. What exactly is a quarrel? The same dialogue, only “on different languages", and even with a raised tone.

You can find out how to get around these sharp corners in the article. And yet I would like to give some more recommendations on this topic.

If initially beautiful communication turned in the wrong direction and leads to a quarrel, then just make a nice joke about this topic.

If you feel that a conversation with a man is still gaining unpleasant momentum, then try to be the first to change the topic of conversation.

Remember that in a quarrel everyone wants to be heard, which is why the tone rises. Try not to do this.

It is clear that when you are in a bad mood, it is sometimes difficult for you to control yourself. But there is a good old way for this: a counting rhyme. You inhale, count slowly in your head to ten and exhale. It really helps a lot of people.

But why are we all about quarrels? After all, when talking with the man you love, the last thing you want is to swear. Therefore, if there is no bitchy hysterical woman living inside you, quarrels can be kept to a minimum.

And in peacetime, you also need to be able to conduct a dialogue. You've probably heard about magic words since childhood? Yes, yes, all these “thank you”, “please”, “hello”, “goodbye”. There are also pleasant phrases and diminutives. This is where you need to start communicating with your beloved man in order to cheer him up.

Just imagine. You call him in the morning and gently purr into the phone:

Good morning, my sunshine! Wake up, my friend, it's time for you to go to work! Have a nice day and see you in the evening! I love you very much!

Great, right? And he is twice as healthy! And the mood is high!

A good relationship between a man and a woman directly depends on their ability to communicate. A woman especially should master this art masterfully. After all, the changing tonality of her voice can delight the ear in one minute and immediately blow away the brain. Therefore, indeed, sometimes we need to be silent together.