Real stories about wife cheating. Real stories of cheating husbands and wives. When my mom was pregnant with me, my older sister caught my dad kissing my mom's friend
19th century ballroom fashion is a veritable treasure trove of exquisite styles, fabrics and accessories. In Russia, high society, and especially the capital's, unquestioningly followed French and English fashions, often ordering outfits from Paris or London. In the provinces, the nobles also kept up with the capital's nobility and sewed analogues of foreign outfits from local dressmakers.
Appearance at high society balls was designated by etiquette. During the 19th century, women's ball gowns featured a deep neckline, preferably exposing the shoulders. Such outfits implied the presence of jewelry around the neck, because the ball was not only a place for dancing, but also an occasion to show off oneself and one’s wealth. At the very beginning of the 19th century, it was fashionable to decorate dresses with fresh or artificial flowers. If the lady was unmarried, she should wear a light-colored outfit and not go overboard with complex hairstyles. Married women could afford more kitschy outfits in bright colors and massive expensive jewelry. Shoes were usually worn without heels, comfortable and soft, so that one could easily withstand a multi-hour ball.
Dresses made of flowing fabrics should be complemented with light stoles, which would give even more airiness to the lady whirling in the dance. As an option, heavy shawls made of cashmere were also acceptable. The ability to elegantly wear a shawl on one's shoulders was a source of pride. To do this, many ladies spent many hours in front of the mirror to hone their skills.
Men's ballroom fashion was not very diverse. Gentlemen were supposed to appear at the ball in tailcoats, vests and ties. In the first half of the century, preference was given to white ties, and in the second - black ties. Tailcoats were exclusively black, although at the very beginning of the 19th century some variations were allowed. If a man was a military servant, then the ball was an occasion for him to put on his ceremonial uniform, adjusted for ball shoes.
An important accessory of a ballroom costume were gloves. They had to be not just white, but snow-white. Ladies preferred glove models that ended above the elbow. The gloves were kept on throughout the entire ball, except during dinner. Bare hands at the ball were considered bad manners. In the event that gloves suddenly tore, and there were no spare ones, the ladies preferred to remain in torn ones.
Getting ready for the ball was not an easy task. In order to get ready, it was not enough to just have a dress. It was necessary to put together a complete set, which included: a corset, a thin shirt mainly made of cambric, which was worn under it, starched trousers and a silk underskirt.
Long preparatory events created a feeling of celebration; it is not for nothing that balls of the 19th century are a subject of interest to this day.
Radicule
Small things were put into a handbag (reticule), which was also left in its place.
The fact is that all the young ladies’ handbags were made independently at home. Handicrafts then were an integral part of the life and upbringing of a growing little lady. In the 19th century, two designs of handbags were common. At the beginning of the century, in the Empire era, these were handbags that we would conventionally call “cases” or “pouches.” The essence of the design is to create volume from the bottom to the neck of the bag using wedge-shaped parts, adding material to the conditional middle of the bag and then flattening it again.
The neck was tightened with laces. Often the bottom of such bags was decorated with tassels made of cords or beads. The second version of handbags, which began to be called a reticule, appeared in the second half of the 19th century; these were handbags with a frame lock. By design, these are two walls, sewn together and attached to a frame lock. The bottom was also decorated with beads, and decorative pendants were also made.
The main difficulty of 19th century handbags and purses was their finishing. All kinds of embroidery, all kinds of subjects and techniques, beadwork - and this is just the beginning of the list. The taste of a beautiful lady was judged by the decoration and decor of the handbag; the more refined and interesting the handbag, the more attention the owner of the accessory attracted. On the handbags one could see all sorts of patterns of different themes, also depicted plot images, family coats of arms, even a protest against slavery (on one handbag there was an image of a black slave feeding her baby).
Naturally, the dimensions of the handbags were small; they were used mainly to store a handkerchief, wallet and ammonia. Soon these handbags will move into the familiar category of “theatrical” bags.
How were they worn? Until the 18th century, “case” or “pouch” handbags were worn, fastened to the belt of dresses. Handbags could be lost in the folds of the dress at different heights at the discretion of the hostess. In the 19th century, people preferred to carry handbags in their hands, although images of reticules fastened to the belt have been preserved. Besides, it's quite convenient for a ball, isn't it?
I remember how Natasha Rostova ran from her sister to her mother and back in the pre-holiday bustle of getting ready for her first ball in her life. So, let's try to put ourselves in her place! We already know about two indispensable attributes of a lady going out into the world - a fan and a reticule for the necessary little things. Without what else is it unthinkable to be present at such an important event for any woman, and especially a girl?
Carne
It just seems like the ball is easy and fun. In fact, everything here is subject to strict rules, long-standing traditions, customs, etiquette and many more conventions. Take dancing, for example, the main part of any ball. The waltz comes first, followed by the Hungarian, then the Krakowiak, then the padepatiner, padespan and padekatr. And also the first quadrille, the second and the third. And after the fourth there will certainly be a mazurka. How can you avoid getting confused here? But you are invited to each dance by different gentlemen!
But you have an indispensable attribute - a carne or a ballroom notebook. Look into it - with whom will you dance the cotillion, and who will lead you to dinner during the mazurka field?
If invitations to small dances were always made at the ball itself, then invitations to quadrilles, mazurkas and cotillions were usually made long before. Both ladies and gentlemen had special dance recordings. It was almost hopeless for a “successful” lady to ask for any kind of quadrille, much less a mazurka or cotillion, at the ball itself: everything was sorted out in advance.
And just in this book - carne - all the dances that will be at the upcoming ball were written down in order, and the gentleman, approaching the lady, asks to write down his name for this or that dance. That's how complicated it is!
The ball book - carne - was elegant and small, fit in the palm of your hand. Usually it had a silver, bone or leather binding with gold embossing, and a miniature pencil was hung from it. The pages were made of paper or bone. Bone books lasted forever, since the text on them was erased with an eraser or a damp cloth. The carne was worn on a fan chain or crocheted to the bodice of a ball gown.
Сarnet de bal - ladies' ballroom notebook for recording dance partners. In fact, how can you remember who was promised next? Elegant silver or gold, mother-of-pearl or tortoiseshell, decorated with precious stones or paintings, with ivory pages, on a chain and with a stylus - a pretty lady's thing, no less!
Later, simpler carnes with paper pages appeared, but still elegant and refined, and with the same function - to prevent the lady from confusing the gentlemen, a girl’s memory! So, who did you promise the cotillion to?
Carne was often a piece of jewelry. The cover was decorated with precious stones, mother-of-pearl, a gold monogram, inside the book there were several “leaves”, most often made of ivory, on a chain there was a pencil, and with the help of a special ring it was attached to the belt of the ball gown. (Maybe that’s why it was called carne, because its color was pearlescent, bone, and therefore close to flesh color. In English, carnation is also flesh color, and also reddish-pink, like the thick blush of an embarrassed or out of breath girl).
The purpose of these books is not to collect evidence of the success of secular beauties; on the contrary, they warned them against mistakes, against confusing their partners. Otherwise, a terrible scandal could start in the world, which would not only deprive the lady of her reputation, but her closest relatives could also lose their careers because of it.
Carne of modern young ladies is an ordinary mobile phone, in the memory of which SMS messages from potential gentlemen are stored.
Sometimes carne was made in the form of a fan
Sometimes in the form of a wallet
Portbouquet
It turns out that in the 1800s, it was completely indecent for a lady or girl to appear in society without a bouquet of flowers in her hands or hair, or attached to her dress on her chest or waist. But flowers quickly wither and it’s somehow unpleasant to dance at a ball with a wilted bouquet, no matter if it’s in your hands or appears as part of a costume.
In addition, the stems can leave an unpleasant stain. To get out of such a delicate situation, they came up with a port-bouquet - this is a special case or a tiny vase for a bouquet (after all, the flowers must be fresh!). The portobouquet was attached to the corsage or, equipped with an elegant handle and a hairpin (so that the flowers did not fall out of the case during dancing), remained in the lady’s hands. The portbouquet could be attached to a bracelet or a small ring so that the lady would not accidentally drop it in the whirlwind of the ball.
By the way, the flowers for the ballroom bouquet were selected specifically in accordance with the dictionary of the “language of flowers.” The bouquet in the lady’s hands spoke about many things: marigolds - coquetry; daisy - patience, sadness; white rose - innocence; tulip - pride; violet - modesty and friendship; cornflower - loyalty, sincerity; jasmine - purity. Even the most ordinary wildflower, it turns out, was not at all simple!
At the beginning of the 19th century, Alexander’s bouquets occupied a special place - the flowers in them were selected in such a way that the first letters of their names spelled out the name of the Russian Emperor Alexander I:
- Anemon - anemone,
- Lilie - lily
- Eicheln - acorns
- Xeranthenun - amaranth
- Accazie - acacia
- Nelke - clove
- Dreifaltigkeitsblume – viola (pansy)
- Epheu - ivy
- Rose - rose
Porto-bouquets have survived to this day as an attribute of the bride’s wedding dress (a traditional bride’s bouquet) and the groom’s suit (a small bouquet in the lapel of the jacket).
This is a cute ladies' accessory from a distant and irrevocable elegant past. The porte bouquet is an invention that came into fashion during the era of Louis XIV. It is an elegant holder for a fresh bouquet of flowers. In addition to aesthetics and chic, the port-bouquet also had a practical meaning: this small thing fed the bouquet with water so that it looked fresh longer, and helped attach it to clothes without staining it with greenery and pollen, or allowed you to comfortably hold the bouquet in your hands. The portbouquet was made from any materials: bone, crystal, precious metals - and was intended both to decorate clothes and could serve as a separate accessory in itself.
Marotte
Another attribute of the ball is the Marotte doll. This is the eternal companion of ladies at balls of the 19th century throughout the entire ball season. An elegant doll's head on a special handle and in a fluffy dress-cloak, in the folds of which was hidden a musical device that produced a pleasant short melody when the handle was rotated. What is this special doll and why does the lady need it during the ball?
This toy was an important attribute of 19th century ladies at balls. Firstly, marotki gracefully complemented the costume of secular fashionistas. In addition, if a girl liked someone, she would spin the doll around its axis, and at the same time a musical mechanism with a short melody would be set in motion. Many young ladies very playfully used marotte as an intermediary for flirting with a fan they liked. And the rich had their own entertainment!
The first marotte appeared around 1795 and were very simple - the doll’s head was made of papier-mâché or wood, had certain facial features, often a caricature of a famous person, or simply depicted a jester (joker). The bright clothes ended at the bottom with an applique of fabric or lace with sewn bells. Marotte was taken to balls as an addition to a costume, and an addition of a very playful nature. The ladies loved their little flirting assistant very much, and the doll began to change into better side- her outfits became more colorful, in the same style as the hostess's outfit, and her face often resembled her favorite.
By the end of the 19th century in France, instead of a doll’s head, one could see a figurine of a dancing woman, but more often in the image of Marotte one could still recognize a famous person or... the object of a lady’s passion with a complete resemblance to a certain gentleman.
In the years 1850-1870, these trinkets were called in the French manner - Marotte, which literally means a jester's rod, topped with a grotesque figure or a blank for a hat. Among the most famous Marotte authors in France were Fernand Gaultier, Malet-Noret, Marie. Some French companies replaced the head with a figurine of a dancing woman.
Later, the initiative was taken up in Germany - there these dolls were produced by such companies as Armand Marseille, Philipp Samhammer, Gottlieb Zinner & Sohne of Schalkau, etc. By the way, many of them were imported to France. Marotte was also called the Crazy Doll ("poupee folie"), "Folly Head" (Folly Head), "Whirling Musical Doll" (Whirling Musical Doll) or in Germany - "weather vane" (Schwenker).
Marotte scattered throughout the ballrooms of Europe, acquiring other names: poupee folie - crazy doll, follyhead - reckless head, whirling musical doll - rotating musical doll, schwenker - weather vane. Ballroom dolls changed along with the development of industry - papier-mâché was replaced by porcelain and celluloid, the musical mechanism became more complex, and the dolls' costumes became more magnificent and richer.
Marotte have not sunk into oblivion - they just stopped being a toy for adults and migrated into children's hands, becoming a fun and amusing toy for kids, moving from the ballroom to the children's room.
Will you go to the ball?
I think that every woman, regardless of age, position, status, is always pleased to have elegant women's trinkets, original in design, which pleasantly decorate our rather difficult life.
Happy holiday. Dear friends, may only beautiful things adorn you in your life!
Balls in the 19th century were a favorite entertainment for the public. Everyone gave balls in proportion to their means and capabilities. The ball was a very expensive pleasure for the host party. “I gave three balls every year and finally squandered it,” they say about Onegin’s father. But I will not go into financial and economic details. It’s more interesting to talk about what happened at the balls. Balls were given all year round, but the season began in late autumn - the time of the greatest concentration of representatives of high society in the urban environment - and lasted throughout the winter period, with the exception of periods when it was necessary to fast. Often in one evening it was necessary to attend two or three balls, which required considerable strength from the dancers, besides, many balls ended in the morning, and the next day it was necessary to pay visits and prepare for the upcoming amusements.
Any ball began with an invitation. “Sometimes, he was still in bed, Pushkin’s notes were brought to him, this somewhat inaccurately reflects the situation: invitations to the ball could not be sent on the day of the ball - the recipients had to receive them three weeks in advance, and write a response - whether they would or not. The invitations were very laconic, for example: “Prince Potemkin asks you to do him the honor of welcoming him to the masquerade, this February 8, 1779, at the Anichkov House at 6 o’clock.” However, all the other information was unnecessary - everyone already knew the other ball conventions.
The order of the ball was unshakable. Guests began to arrive after six or nine in the evening, some arrived at ten or midnight. After the arrival of the guests, whom the owner was obliged to meet, the ball opened with a solemn polonaise, a dance-procession, in which all those invited had to take part, even if they then sat at the card tables all evening and all night. In the second half of the 19th century, the polonaise was sometimes performed at the end of the ball, then the dancing began with a waltz. Then they alternated waltzes, polkas, quadrilles, and mazurkas. “The Mazurka was such a wonderful dance especially because it brought out those qualities of men and women with which they most attracted each other. Each played his part: the lady easily rushed forward, and the very turn of her head, since she had to look at the gentleman over her raised shoulder, gave her a teasing aura of incomprehensibility, while the whole initiative of the dance remained in the hands of the gentleman. He rushed her forward, now snapping his spurs, now twirling her, now falling on one knee and forcing her to dance around him, showing his dexterity and imagination, his ability to show himself and control her will." "The Mazurka is the soul of the ball, the goal of lovers, the telegraph gossip and gossip, almost a proclamation of new weddings, the mazurka is two hours, calculated by fate for those chosen as a deposit of happiness for a lifetime." One of the final dances of the ball was the cotillion, "the longest for lovers, like the mazurka "Cotillion, an endless waltz with figures , lasted three hours or more...” In the middle of the ball there was a dinner to which each gentleman accompanied the lady. If a gentleman arrived at the ball without a lady, the hostess of the ball could ask him to escort a lady to the ball (for example, who arrived with a couple of relatives and was therefore not accompanied by a gentleman). When the couple sat down at the table, they took off their gloves and covered their knees with a napkin. Before leaving the table, gloves were put on again, napkins were left on the backs of chairs. Then the dancing continued again. The ball usually ended with an hours-long cotillion, which in the late 19th century was sometimes replaced by a strange dance called the quadrille monster.
The ball just began with a waltz, and other dances followed, in particular, they danced the Hungarian, Krakowiak, Padepatiner, Padespan, Padekatr... At balls there was a certain dance order, and everyone knows that the so-called small dances will be followed by the first quadrille, then, following the order, the second, third. After the fourth quadrille and small dances, as a rule, there was a mazurka. This is already a special dance. It, like the square dance, was scheduled in advance for all the ladies, and every gentleman, every lady knew when and with whom they were dancing. It should be noted that among all the dances, the mazurka and cotillion were the most “important” invitations to the ball, for the reason that after the mazurka the gentleman led the lady to the table for dinner, where they could chat, flirt and even confess their love. Everyone ate dinner in the side living rooms, at small tables. At each table the guests gathered in their own group. In addition, at the balls there was always a buffet with various dishes, champagne and other strong and soft drinks.
Ballroom dance program 1874
Polonaise
Waltz
Polka
Lancier
Gallop
Waltz
Frances
Polka
Gallop
Lancier
Waltz
Frances
Cotillion
It was the duty of the gentlemen to ensure that the ladies had everything they wanted. At the same time, the gentleman must entertain the ladies and conduct small talk with them. During dinner, the guests talked about many things: music, theater, latest news from gossip columns, who is marrying whom or who is getting married... After dinner they always danced a cotillion. Large boxes of flowers were brought to him. The gentlemen sorted out the bouquets and presented them to their ladies. After all this, the conductor of the ball and his assistants on swords brought in many multi-colored ribbons (belts), as well as narrow and short ribbons with bells at the ends. The gentlemen, having sorted out the ribbons, presented them to their chosen ones, and they put one ribbon on top of the other over their shoulders. Moreover, men tied narrow short ribbons with bells to the ladies’ hands, starting from the hands to the elbows. “It was, I tell you, a wonderful experience. You lean towards the lady’s gentle hand, towards her fragrant body and inhale the aroma of enchanting French perfume...”
People came to the ball dressed smartly. Gentlemen wear a tailcoat, tuxedo or suit (depending on the decade), a white shirt and always white gloves. Moreover, in the manuals, a lady has the right to refuse a gentleman without gloves, and it is better for a gentleman to come to the ball wearing black gloves than without gloves at all. A boutonniere was attached to the lapel of the tailcoat. The military came in uniform. The suits of the gentlemen depended little on fashion and were recommended to be sewn in classical forms so that the robes would last longer. Gentlemen wore boots to the ball, and only military men could afford boots, but without spurs.
Ladies and girls dressed in dresses according to the latest fashion, each of which was designed for 1-2 balls. Ladies could choose any color for the dress (if it was not specifically specified); dresses were sewn for girls white or pastel colors - blue, pink, ivory. Gloves that matched the dress were matched to the dress or were white (wearing rings over gloves was considered tasteless). Ladies could decorate themselves with a headdress - for example, a beret. Girls were recommended to have a modest hairstyle. In any case, the neck had to be open. The ladies' jewelry could be anything - the main thing is that it is chosen with taste. Girls should appear at balls with a minimum amount of jewelry - a pendant around the neck, a modest bracelet.
The cut of ball gowns depended on fashion, but one thing remained unchanged in them - an open neck and shoulders. With such a cut of the dress, neither a lady nor a girl could appear in society without jewelry around the neck - a chain with a pendant, a necklace - something had to be worn
In addition, in the 1820-1830s. It was indecent for a lady or girl to appear in society without a bouquet of flowers: it was carried in hands, in hair, attached to a dress at the waist or on the chest. A fan was a mandatory attribute. It could be left in its place in the ballroom, or it could be held in the left hand (which rests on the partner’s shoulder) during the dance. Small things were put into a handbag (reticule), which was also left in its place.
As a rule, we arrived at the ball a little late. The owner greeted the first guests, latecomers joined the dancers, sometimes even without announcing the persons. Ladies took small books with them to the ball to record the sequence of dances; towards the end of the century, these books began to be given out at balls.
In addition to dancing and dinner at the balls, guests were entertained by games: calm ones, such as cards, funny and active ones, such as forfeits. They often parted ways in the morning: “Half asleep in bed, he’s on his way back from the ball: and restless Petersburg has already been awakened by the drum.”
Within a month after the ball, guests had to pay the hosts a courtesy visit.
General rules of conduct at the ball and ballroom etiquette
Invitations to the ball are sent at least 10 days before it starts.
At the height of the season, this period increases to 3 weeks.
In the first 2 days after receiving the invitation, you should inform the organizers of the ball about your decision.
A ball gown should be elegant and at the same time refined, meet fashion requirements and specially tailored for the next ball.
The color of the gemstones should match the color of the dress.
Pearls and diamonds or rubies and diamonds - for pink fabrics; pearls and diamonds or sapphires and diamonds - for blue fabrics.
Ladies were recommended to hold a small bouquet of flowers in their hands.
During the ball, neither ladies nor gentlemen took off their gloves, with the exception of dinner and playing cards.
A young man, like a girl, accepting an invitation to a ball, at the same time takes upon himself the obligation to dance. If there is a shortage of gentlemen or ladies, the duty of dancing falls on everyone. Showing displeasure or letting anyone notice that you are dancing out of necessity is extremely indecent. On the contrary, one who wants to become the darling of society must devote himself wholeheartedly to pleasure and dance with any partner.
At the ball, do not forget for a minute that your facial expression should be cheerful and amiable. A sad or angry face at a ball is the same as dancing at a wake.
When arriving late to a ball, you must first greet the hosts, and only then start conversations with your acquaintances (the latter can be greeted with a nod of the head).
You can invite people to dances in advance (including at the ball). However, it is polite to arrive at the ball, promising in advance no more than three dances
The head of the dance hall is the ball manager. You need to obey him unquestioningly, not argue with him and not make scandals. The manager is responsible for order in the hall.
Gentlemen must look after the ladies, bring them cold drinks and entertain in every possible way. Conversations should be kept quiet and not touch on difficult or serious topics. Any manifestation of buffoonery should be avoided. Gentlemen who take pleasure in making themselves laugh are to be pitied.
Disputes and disagreements that arise between gentlemen must be settled outside the ballroom.
Ladies should not slander, on the contrary, they should behave pleasantly, sweetly and benevolently. In addition, ladies should avoid any manifestations of bad humor, which may cause disapproval. The most important enemy of a lady at a ball is jealousy, which is always noticeable. Ladies should move softly and silently, both at home and in society, and leave the impression of the soft steps of a fairy.
Loud laughter, noisy quarrel, rude words, immodest glances, in general, everything that diverges from the laws of beauty should be avoided with special care. A lady's behavior towards a gentleman should always be measured and modest, but ladies should not refuse gentlemen who invited them to dance - a recognition worthy of any attention.
In general, at a ball you should behave modestly, dance gracefully and maintain decorum; to jump, to break, to take affected poses would mean to expose oneself in the eyes of some as an object worthy of ridicule, and in the eyes of others as an object worthy of pity.
Invitation to dance (engagement)
A gentleman inviting a lady to dance approaches her and, bowing gracefully, makes an invitation in the most polite and delicate form: “Let me have the pleasure of inviting you to [the dance].” If the invitee is well known to you, then simply: “Do not deny me the pleasure of dancing with you.” It is also possible to invite the lady you like, approach her, bow and serve right hand(it is not necessary to say anything). The lady, accepting the invitation, gives the gentleman left hand.
If the gentleman’s bow was taken personally by someone other than the one he wanted to invite, then a well-mannered gentleman in no way shows his disappointment, but observes the rules of decency and blames himself first of all for the awkwardness, but rather gets out of the situation with humor.
It is indecent to invite a lady to whom you have not been introduced. To do this, it is best to either find a person who agrees to introduce you, or, as a last resort, introduce yourself.
At a masquerade ball, the mask has the right to invite strangers, others can only invite acquaintances.
If the lady is not alone, but in the company of a companion or friends, it is necessary, based on general norms of behavior, to first apologize for the interrupted conversation, if necessary, ask the companion’s consent, and then invite the lady to dance.
It is strongly recommended that when you come to an evening with a lady, you dance with her the permissible number of dances (usually 3). It would be the height of tactlessness to dance with others all the time. Don't be surprised if by the end of the evening she prefers someone else to walk her home.
However, it is indecent to dance a lot with the same partner. With a partner other than the bride/groom, you can dance no more than three dances per evening, and you cannot dance two dances in a row.
When a gentleman invites a lady, she bows her head as a sign of consent, saying: “with pleasure”, “good”; in case of disagreement, the lady is also allowed to remain silent and respond to the gentleman’s invitation only with a gesture, or: “I’m sorry, I already promised”, or : "I'm already dancing." But at the same time, the lady can offer the gentleman another dance of her choice or the choice of the gentleman. Insisting on an invitation or finding out the reasons for refusal is unethical and stupid. It would be wise to bow very politely and move away without any comment, without expressing your displeasure.
You can decline an invitation to dance if:
- the dance has already been promised;
- the lady has already danced with this gentleman three dances in the evening or the previous dance;
- the lady wants to skip the dance - not to dance, but to relax;
- inviting gentleman without gloves.
In any other case, the lady was obliged to accept the invitation. If she refused without reason, she had no right to participate in this dance at all.
If a lady accidentally forgot that she gave her word, and while she is going to dance with another gentleman, the first one appears, then she should apologize. To get out of this unpleasant situation, it is best to abandon the dance altogether or invite the first gentleman to dance another dance with her.
But for a gentleman to invite a lady and then forget about it is not only the most unforgivable impoliteness, but simply rudeness; in such a case, he quite rightly incurs the wrath of the lady he invited and the whole society.
In a situation where your acquaintance has invited your companion to dance, it would be gallant to invite his lady so that she is not left alone.
Finally, having invited the lady, gallantly escort her to your chosen place in the hall and bow slightly to her, since the music of many dances will not allow you to do this in time.
Rules of conduct while dancing
The lady must strictly ensure that the gentleman is on her left side, both during dancing and when walking with her around the hall. Neither ladies nor gentlemen take off their gloves during the ball, much less dance without gloves.
The lady easily places the man's left hand slightly below the shoulder. Depending on the fashion, a fan and an elegant handkerchief are held in the same hand, or the handkerchief is hidden, and the fan is hung on a chain, cord or ribbon attached to the belt. The purpose of a fan is to bring coolness to yourself; hiding behind them to make it more convenient to talk and laugh with a gentleman is indecent. Young, very lively ladies should also note to themselves that it is not good to lose flowers from the hair or from the dress and pieces of the dress itself and its trim. This always indicates unrestrained, abrupt movements and a lack of neatness and modesty.
During ceremonial dances (polonaise, minuet), you should only stand behind the couples already standing. This rule does not apply to the master of the ball. The optimal distance between couples is at least a meter. If there is too much steam, you should stand to the side, forming another line. If the hall is free, the gentleman should lead the lady to the dance in front of him, but if it is crowded, he should go ahead himself, so that the crowded space does not cause inconvenience to the chosen one. Don't get too close to the dancers, avoid collisions. If a collision occurs, you should apologize and show attention. It is considered polite to bow to your partner again before starting the dance. In general, the dance usually begins with a bow from the gentleman and a curtsy in return from the lady.
In the dance, the gentleman leads the lady, and he must take all mistakes personally; if a couple accidentally touches another couple, then the gentleman apologizes, because he is the leader.
During the dance, the gentleman and the lady should not be too far from each other, but there is no need to cling to each other. When dancing with a lady dressed in a low-cut dress, the gentleman cannot afford to hold her by her bare shoulders or back.
The dancing gentleman never looks at his feet, even to make sure that he is performing all the steps correctly. The gentleman should stand straight and with dignity.
The lady should also dance with her eyes raised, only occasionally allowing herself to glance briefly at the floor. However, no one can prevent a dancing lady from shooting glances at the gentleman she likes!
Just as it is considered indecent to talk incessantly over your lady's ear while dancing, it would certainly be impolite not to say a few words to her. The conversation between the lady and the gentleman should be extremely polite and pleasant. Speaking banalities and discussing other guests at the ball is bad form. If you have nothing to say while dancing, it is better to remain silent.
In a dance that has a strict sequence of figures, watch the previous couples, especially the first, and do not do anything before them.
During free movement dances, for example, the Viennese waltz, do not rush to get into a couple right away, first wait for the music and bow to it, fortunately the music here allows this. While dancing, move with everyone else, try not to move, or move along the usual dance line, in the outer circle. If you are dancing more or less on the spot or for some reason have lost your way, then it is better to move to the center of the hall, but not outside, and especially not to stay on the dance line.
At the end of the dance, the gentleman bows to his lady and accompanies her to the place from which he invited her, or wherever the lady wishes, simultaneously thanking her for the honor that she did by dancing with him in a pair.
All couples, apparently, perform the same movements, but the attentive observer can find in them a lot of features that serve to accurately characterize not only each individual couple, but also the individual. From the harmonious movements of a separate couple, which seems to be one, one can often unmistakably conclude that there is sympathy between the persons. The graceful, light, seemingly soaring movements of a young girl are always attractive; They always allow themselves to laugh at the imperfections of movements, without at all taking into account that the cause is often the gentleman.
Indeed, the latter’s task in dancing is much harder and more important than that of the ladies. He must be able to dance so well that he can cover up his lady's little awkwardnesses. Therefore, a young man should take care to be able to dance well; then he can be sure that he will not receive a refusal; on the contrary, he will be eagerly welcomed everywhere and invited to balls. “Once Princess E.P. Beloselskaya-Belozerskaya violated etiquette. She appeared at a court ball in a purple dress with inappropriate decorations, which immediately attracted the attention of those present, it was a kind of challenge to the world. And in the world they discussed this for two weeks gross violation of etiquette."
