How to survive voluntary termination. Psychological assistance after dismissal from work. Retirement

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Your boss invites you into the office, closes the door and says: "...we are not satisfied with the way you work in this position, so we have decided to leave. Free up your workplace and get paid in accounting." How to deal with this situation without losing your dignity?

Steps

Give yourself a minute (or five) to recover from the shock and collect your thoughts. Take a breath. If you feel like crying, please - this will not change the situation, but it may help you get over it better by venting your emotions.

Get the situation right. Perhaps your first impulse is to consider yourself a bad employee, a person, and a failure in general, but this is just the voice of panic. Instead, say to yourself, "I did the wrong job for me." This is important: the work is not to blame and you are not to blame, it was the combination of work and you that did not work. So don't be ashamed of the situation. There are millions of reasons why a job doesn't work, and none of them are 100% your fault.

Don't try to change your mind. You may be tempted to ask for another chance, but you should resist it. The decision is made and almost always irrevocable. Pleading will only weaken your ability to negotiate further.

Negotiate the terms of your dismissal. The employer does not want unnecessary problems, in particular, to earn a bad reputation. So here's what you can negotiate:

Agree on how the employer will respond if you contact him for a recommendation. His safest answer is: "Yes, he worked for us, but our organization has a policy of non-disclosure of performance ratings."
Ask for generous compensation. Demand vacation and sick pay, as well as compensation that you think they can accept - between a month's and three months' salary. You may not be paid as much as you ask, but this is a good start to negotiations.
Ask your employer to extend the VHI for a certain period.
Ask for help finding a new job. Some employers offer the services of employment firms. If not, ask which organizations you could recommend for finding work. Perhaps they have information about vacancies.

Quit with dignity. Do not wait for the end of the working day - pack your things at the workplace and leave. If colleagues stop you to say goodbye, thank them politely, but don't shake the walls with yells about what just happened to you. Never say anything bad about either the boss or the company - burn all the bridges so that you are not pursued by resentment.

Report the incident to your family immediately. Even if you are still in shock and shame, tell your family what happened and discuss how you can all get through it together. Although your loved ones will also experience shock and discomfort, in the long run it will be easier for you to start taking further actions together.

Give yourself time to recover. You will be tempted to immediately start looking for a new job, but you need to give yourself time to process what happened, get rid of shame and panic, and start thinking clearly. Take a couple of weeks to spend it with your family and concentrate on future plans.
Realize that this is not the end of the road. Although it can be difficult at times, don't think that your whole life is over when you quit your job. Start seeing the situation as a turning point on the road to change for the better. Of course, this is a difficult time, but it can give you new opportunities.
- Take the time to figure out if you want to stay in the same line of work or if you should try something else.
- Perhaps in the first few days your friends and colleagues will constantly call you to find out how you are doing. Refrain from talking to everyone. Tell everyone through one friend that you're fine and that you're just taking a breather, and then in the next few days, weeks or months - it doesn't matter - call everyone back.
- Make sure that the dismissal is carried out in accordance with the terms of your employment contract and labor laws in general.
- Be responsible. When you get home, cancel all but the essentials and budget according to what you have. Develop a financial plan. This will reduce your stress levels and keep you from grabbing the first job that comes along.
- Sometimes termination compensation is given under certain conditions: you cannot discuss the reasons for dismissal with anyone, you cannot discuss the terms of compensation, you cannot speak negatively about the company or its management, you cannot go to work for competitors, and so on. If you violate these terms, compensation may be collected from you back through the courts.
- Get official written confirmation of the company's intentions.
- As a rule, after a notice of dismissal, access to a personal computer is closed. Accordingly, (since you are reading this article, you have not yet been fired) today, coming to work:
  - Send to your personal email address all the personal information from your computer that you would like to keep after you leave: personal mail, examples of work materials, recipes from your colleagues - whatever. Do not send all this from your work address, go to your personal mail and send from there.
  - Make copies of all the files you want to keep (document templates, work materials, contacts) and take them home.
Warnings
- Resist the urge to call colleagues and complain about the company and its management.
- Arriving home, do not try to pack your things and leave the city. Running away from problems only exacerbates the situation, and besides, moving to another city for no apparent reason is a red rag for employers. It is better to update your resume and post it on the relevant sites.

Being fired from a job is no longer a rarity, and more and more people are trying to figure out how to survive parting with a position. The termination of the contract is not always caused by the lack of the necessary professional qualities; for completely different reasons, ambitious and talented people leave their jobs. Psychologists give some advice on how to survive the dismissal from work.

First wave of emotions

When a person hears the phrase "You're fired", the range of emotions can be varied from resentment to rage. Don't let off steam right in front of your superiors, shedding tears or pounding your fists on the table. In many cases, it will be more beneficial to leave the workplace with dignity. If, the controversial issue can be resolved in the labor inspectorate or in court.

For reference! By decision of the court, you can be reinstated and receive compensation for the time of forced rest. This right is enshrined in Article 392 of the Labor Code.

In most cases, management seeks to gently part with employees, so you can safely demand compensation or letters of recommendation. By resolving the conflict in your favor, you can feel more confident and, if you wish, go in search of a new job.

Reorganize in a new way

When the employment contract is terminated, you need to take time to recover. Everyone who was fired experienced a bit of disappointment and was dissatisfied with themselves. Many do not tell their relatives and friends about what happened, which is fundamentally wrong - you need to speak out, release emotions and look at the situation from a different angle.

Advice! Psychologists say that by repeating a story over and over, a person becomes more aware of his feelings, and eventually begins to perceive what is happening less sharply. Gradually, the very fact of dismissal will cease to be significant, which means that there will be nothing to worry about.

Pouring out his soul to his interlocutors, a person begins to understand what caused the dismissal. If this is a lack of professionalism or competence, it makes sense to take refresher courses and read professional literature. A good solution would be to change the type of activity.

As for the cases when the employer initiated a dismissal order due to a difference in views, then a couple of days is enough to restore peace of mind.

On the way from the old job to the new one

Many regard this as an extraordinary vacation. But psychologists strongly advise not to postpone the search indefinitely - the absence of the usual load can cause neurosis or depressive disorder.

Being a long period in search of work, a person imperceptibly falls into depression. A negative attitude prevents you from successfully passing interviews, soon, and the desire to work disappears. Internal experiences are transferred to the body, and psychosomatic disorders may appear.

Interesting! You can often notice how a person who has lost his job or retired is rapidly aging, more often than usual falls ill.

Free time should be put to good use!

If you can’t quickly get a job in a new company, you shouldn’t cool off and waste your free time in vain. It is necessary to adhere to the usual daily routine, filling the schedule with new cases:

learning foreign languages;
reading fiction;
hobby;
sports;
visiting doctors.

Employment

Going to the interview, you should be mentally prepared. Whatever the reasons for leaving a previous position, you should not speak negatively about a former employer. Briefly and as dispassionately as possible describe the situation. It is advisable to focus on your professional qualities and achievements.

Advice! If there is a link to a “bad” article in the work book, you can make a duplicate of it at the penultimate place of work without an unflattering entry.

When communicating with a new boss, you should carefully ask about job responsibilities and privileges. It is irrational to agree to the very first proposals - you need to evaluate working conditions, wages and the amount of work. When expectations correspond to reality, you can send to the personnel department for employment.

Retirement

Finding what to do after being fired is the hardest thing for retirees. Elderly people are practically not invited to work, and it is extremely difficult to find a job again, especially in a profession.

In addition, age makes itself felt, and often apathy follows dismissal from a favorite position, and the risk of depression increases. On the other hand, many see a plus in dismissal, after many years of service, they finally begin to take care of themselves, find new hobbies.

At first, you should spend more time communicating with former colleagues, not moving away from them. Gradually, you need to understand yourself and understand what you wanted to do all your life besides your profession - it can be creating oil paintings, breeding purebred dogs, traveling the world and much more.

In no case should you lock yourself up, make yourself an endless weekend, consisting of gatherings on the couch. The more things are planned for the day, the more you can get positive emotions and new experiences.

An urgent problem for employees leaving work: how not to get upset, survive the dismissal and continue their professional and personal growth. To prepare for the end of an employment relationship, you need to know the signs of an impending dismissal, and in order to recover from it, it is important to realize your value as an employee.

Preparing to leave work

There is nothing worse than suddenly losing a job. Here is a list of signs that may indicate that a person wants to be fired:

the subordinate is assigned fewer tasks;
superiors rarely call to themselves (for criticism, or discussion of the work performed);
some of the work is delegated to someone else.

As a rule, the last straw for many in this matter is the moment when a person finds on the Internet his position in his company, for which they are looking for an employee. Of course, after this, most begin to worry that they will soon have to say goodbye to the workplace.

What to do if you are threatened with dismissal?

If there are persistent suspicions that the boss will soon offer to leave the company, then you don’t need to go all out - go and deal with the boss, and also express everything that has accumulated during the work in your hearts.

This will only aggravate the situation, and the subordinate may lose a letter of recommendation, which can be important when looking for a new job. In addition, the director may have doubts about the dismissal, and the conflict will only push him to this.

If a person suspects that the contract will be terminated soon, then it is best to calm down and start looking for a job. In most cases, people manage to find a new place even before the moment they are told about the dismissal by their boss, they just need to start looking as soon as possible.

Advice! If there are guesses about the imminent departure from work, then you should not openly look for vacancies if everything suits you at work, and the person does not want to leave the company. If the manager finds out that the subordinate is looking for other options, he will decide that the person himself does not mind resigning, and is more likely to offer to write a statement.

In addition, the manager can terminate the contract with a person on his own initiative only if there are certain factors.

Under what circumstances can the boss himself terminate the contract:

in the presence of disciplinary violations (absenteeism, lateness, and so on);
if a person has committed theft of property;
in case of inconsistency of the qualifications of the position held;
when reducing.

If the director wants to stop the employment relationship, but one of the above circumstances is missing, then the person can sue him.

How to find a new job?

When people get laid off, some of them think it's hard to find a new job and become insecure. If the contract was terminated with a person, but he feels that he cannot cope, then you can attend advanced training courses, or find a job through an acquaintance. If the subordinate left peacefully, and he has good relations with colleagues and superiors, then you can find out about the trainings and seminars that are held in the organization from which the employee was fired.

It is especially difficult to overcome depression for those who are 50 years old or older - many believe that because of their age they are unclaimed and will never find a job. In this case, it makes sense not only to go to advanced training courses, if possible, but also to a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you overcome this period in your life and convince yourself that all is not lost. In addition, you should not despair also because so many employers need experienced employees.

First of all, after the termination of the contract, you should not spend a lot of your nerves and spoil relations with colleagues or a former boss. If the director illegally terminated the contract, then it is better to go to court or the labor inspectorate than to waste time on insults.

Advice! If the manager offers new vacancies, or write a letter of recommendation, you should not refuse, even if the relationship with the manager was bad. It is better to squeeze everything you can from your last job, as this will help you get a new one.

What should be done after dismissal? The most important thing is that you don’t need to get depressed and assume that a black streak has begun. Life consists not only of a career, but also of other equally important components - hobbies, friends, family. If complexes and self-doubt appear, it is better to take a short rest for a while, with severe depression it is better to immediately contact a psychotherapist. The emotional state is very important, as a person who has a breakdown is less likely to find a suitable place for himself.

If a dismissed subordinate decided to take a break, then this should not be delayed for a long time. You can take a break for 2 weeks, or a month, but then it’s better to start looking for a job, as some skills may be lost over a long period.

Also, you do not need to agree to the first place that will be offered if it does not suit the employee. In this case, you need to take a sober look at things - know what you want, and correlate your capabilities - the level of training, education, and so on.

Is it worth it to return if they call back?

It happens that the management calls the dismissed person back, but it is better not to agree to such proposals. Practice shows that even if an employee had a good relationship with the team and management, he still begins to trust the authorities less after the last dismissal. However, if the subordinate at the old job has better working conditions (and salary) and good relations with colleagues and the director, then you can return to the company.

Such an event really knocks out of the usual rut, dozens of questions instantly flash in my head: “Why me?”, “What did I do wrong?”.

Self-esteem falls, mood is at zero and faith in a bright future for some reason instantly evaporates and turns into unrealizable hopes. Psychologists even argue that dismissal from work is really a strong stress that must be experienced correctly in order to avoid unpleasant, and sometimes dangerous, consequences.

5 important steps

How to survive a layoff? This question gnaws at everyone who finds themselves in such a situation, and it doesn’t matter at all whether you knew about it in advance or the news hit you like snow on your head. To come to a successful final, a person has to go through 5 stages, each of which, in its own way, is important and necessary.

At the first stage, a person is only partially aware of the seriousness of the situation, being in a state of shock, awareness comes only at the second stage. Here anger, resentment and misunderstanding catch up. There are a thousand questions in my head, self-esteem is slowly but surely tending to zero, and, as a result, a natural feeling of aggression and anger at the former bosses may arise.

It is at the second stage that a burning desire to “win back in the end” may arise: to tell the authorities everything that you think about him, to annoy the company, for example, hide some necessary data or delete customer numbers. Naturally, over time, everything will be restored, but an extremely negative opinion will form about you.

You shouldn't do anything like that! Gather your will into a fist and remember that the professional circle in one city is always rather narrow, which means that your future bosses can find out about all your “achievements”, which can affect your future career growth.

Do you need it? If you leave with your head held high, with best wishes and a friendly smile, who knows, sometimes the bosses have a habit of changing their minds, or at least you can get hold of a good recommendation.

The next step is bidding. Here such thoughts arise: “If I had finished the annual report on time…”, “If I had been friendlier with the team…” and so on. “If, yes, but…” no longer makes much sense, step over this stage, leave everything in the past, but take with you the conclusions regarding your professional activities, perhaps they will be useful to you in a new workplace.

The fourth stage is depression. It makes no sense to explain and describe it, almost every one of us fell into a similar state. The last number is acceptance. Finally, having realized and experienced all the sorrows, you are ready to move on, at this stage, a person can even see a certain logic in his dismissal and sees the advantages of what happened.

In words, everything seems to be simple, but how to survive it in reality? To begin with: give yourself every right to go through all these five stages, it is better to go through them immediately than to get confused in your own negative emotions and push the problem away, leaving it without a solution. Unfortunately, there are many cases when, after being fired, a person is completely lost and does not find the strength in himself for new achievements.

Most often, this risk group includes people who are at critical stages of life, usually the age of 34-36 years, and then 49-52, 55-57 years. Sooner or later, you will come to the stage of acceptance, however, it is important to try to shorten the whole path to it: for this, give yourself a setting about the end of each stage. For example, three days for each state: maybe at first it will seem strange to you, but as a result, logic will prevail over feelings.

What do you need to know?

So it happened. First you need to deal with the important design points that can play for or against you in the future.

Dismissal at will. Most often, it is made out that way, even if this desire was not entirely one's own. If, for example, a person is fired for not coping with his own work and the employer can prove this, then this option will be the best solution. But if a person is fired simply for downsizing, then in this situation you may not wait for the due compensation. The dismissal for reduction must be warned in advance, terms are agreed, and the warning is attached in writing. But for an employee who is forced to sign backdated documents, it is better to consult with lawyers and sign anything in advance.
By agreement of the parties. The most profitable option for an employee: it clearly states the date of dismissal, while all the necessary payments are made (full payment, compensation for vacation that was not used, the remaining salary). Registration with the labor exchange is easier, and benefits are calculated as quickly as possible.

Perhaps, in the same place on the exchange, it will be possible to take refresher courses, which will increase your chances of finding a new job. It will not be superfluous to compile a high-quality resume, send it to employment sites, and also pass interviews in a couple of cadastral devices.

From the point of view of psychology

Often, after a hard dismissal, a person wants to relax: lie down on the couch, eat plenty of sweets and goodies, sleep until dinner, and so on. Of course, you can allow such a rest, but, most importantly, that it does not stretch indefinitely.

Do not forget that the received calculation will end soon, and you will not receive a new salary, and is it really possible to hang on the neck of your own family? In particular, this applies to men.

In order not to completely “fall apart”, be sure to follow the daily routine: get up at the appointed time, have breakfast and put yourself in order, actively look for work and, since you have free time, do what you always lacked it for.

For example, learn something new, tidy up the garage, tidy up household chores that have never been done before. Use your free time to put your health in order: follow the regime, do not watch TV until late, go outside every day and, if possible, do jogging.

Do not forget that the days off, as before, are Saturday and Sunday, the rest of the time you should be busy, as it was before when you worked. Browse job sites daily, send out as many resumes as possible, go to interviews and remember that the more companies you call today, the more answers you will get tomorrow.

And one more thing: learn to perceive dismissal not as a cruel joke of fate, but as a sign that it is time for you to move on, who knows, perhaps this is a kind of sign, a chance to find a place with better earnings or a team.

In the process of looking for a better job, many were faced with the need to change jobs. It is good if this happened by mutual agreement of the parties: the employer and the employee. But what if your plans did not include leaving your familiar place in the next couple of years? Dismissal is not a pleasant thing, therefore it is often accompanied by a long chain of changes in emotional states.

Psychologists note that a person who has just been fired or made redundant goes through several stages after losing a job.

Resentment

Of course, the first of these is resentment. We all have this feeling. Together with feelings and thoughts about the days spent, energy, and often health that had to be left outside the company, such an employee, of course, regrets what happened and mentally tries to find mistakes in his actions.

It is good if the dismissed employee directs his resentment mainly to the incompetence of his offender and will reinforce his arguments with an undeserved insult. Much sadder will be the consequences of self-flagellation and remorse, which can lead to prolonged stress.

Euphoria

The next stage that the nervous system of the dismissed person needs to go through is the euphoria of sudden freedom.

A person bound by routine frameworks suddenly feels all the charm of his free position. And since he is, in many ways, a victim of circumstances, there are fewer and fewer reasons for frustration. In addition, the entire labor market opens up before such a person, and he is ready for new searches.

Unpreparedness

And this is where the problem of emotional unpreparedness often arises.

A laid-off employee subconsciously tries to find a clone of his old firm, and when he encounters new obligations that require more advanced or additional work, it becomes difficult to get used to the old routine. Hence the reluctance to try something new for yourself, and as a result, a long search and unsuccessful interviews.

Of course, wasted time and nerves, reproaches from relatives or questions from friends negatively affect the general mood and enthusiasm.

Apathy

Thus, a new stage begins - this is apathy.

I don't want to do absolutely nothing. I want to go with the flow and sit at home without getting out. Someone goes through this stage quite quickly, and some have to wait several years for a “kick” from life circumstances, when finding a job turns not into a hobby, but into an urgent need.

To alleviate the condition of a dismissed person, psychologists recommend supporting him, but this must be done correctly.

For example, if you find out that your friend or loved one has recently been fired, then it is better to refrain from commenting and asking questions until he himself wants to bring up this topic.

Psychological support

At the job search stage, the job seeker needs support and encouragement. Since any new activity will scare him away, you should not show close interest in the desired new position, and also focus on the disadvantages of the proposed vacancy, so as not to shake the sense of confidence of the person who is looking for.

You can help the dismissed person in compiling a competent resume, with registration on job search sites, as well as with sending his candidacy to company e-mails.